Chosen One
by Under the Oak Tree
Summary: 20 Dec 2011; UNDER REWRITE. Pls follow updates at oaklified twitter . Aim to have it finish by New Year!
1. Chapter 1:They're Just Kids, Dammit

ATTENTION: YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ THE FOLLOWING. . . .  
  
Disclaimer/Warning: Naturally, I don't own FAKE, Sanami Matoh does, and be warned, I've only watched the OVA where they met Berkley for the first time, that's it. I've never seen any other episodes (if there are any) nor have I read the manga. So if there's any misspellings of names or a different past experience and whatnot, this will still be a bloody good story (I think). ^^ Any OOCness is apologized for in advance!  
  
Warning 2: There'll be lemons, yaoi, NCS and excessively unneeded abuse of little kids, Dee and kittens! (Actually, I lied about the kittens part but it sounds nice anyway. Does anybody see where I'm going with this???)  
  
Warning 3: I've taken some liberties here with the story as I don't want to do the usual Dee-chase-Ryo-who-runs-but-chases-back-only-to-get-jumped-on kinda story. Facts taken for granted here are: Dee & Ryo are together, Berkley still wants to get into Ryo's pants (more badly now that he's with Dee, can you believe it @ . @) and Bikky is staying permanently with Ryo and Dee at Ryo's place, Ryo being his permanent guardian.  
  
Enjoy and if you want more; REVIEW, ne?  
  
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CHAPTER ONE: They're only kids, dammit.  
  
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Cool early morning air kissed his bare skin and Dee Laytner shivered slightly as he slept. He curled his body up against that intrusive cold and a hand snaked out even amidst sleep to search for that warm body that kept him company during the night. Target found, he tugged the unresisting body closer and when that delicious 'hot water bottle' was practically skin to skin with him, he blew out a sigh and relaxed against that silky warmth.  
  
"Dee? Are you awake?" The 'hot water bottle' asked him softly.  
  
Clear gray eyes stayed closed, lost in the velvetiness of soft dreamless sleep and a pair of dark brown eyes rolled back in mock exasperation.  
  
"I can't believe it. . . he can actually do that and still stay asleep?" Ryo grumbled halfheartedly and propped up his head with a free hand while the other brushed back unruly black hair from a sleeping face. He studied that beautiful form in silent, appreciative contemplation.  
  
Lazy fingers traced a high, proud cheekbone to trail over a stubborn jaw line that said more clearly than words that this was a man who went his own way and if you can't handle it, then tough. But Ryo knew better. While that jaw can be as hard as rock, those lips, still a healthy pink despite an unrepentant habit of smoking, can turn as willfully soft and tender.  
  
Further explorations were cut off as the comatose man gave a groan and buried his face deeper into his pillow. One outstretched hand opened and closed spasmodically while he gave another unconscious groan.  
  
Ryo frowned, and light brown hair, streaked gold in some parts by the sun, fell into his eyes as he leant forward, giving those broad, muscled shoulders a shake. "Dee? Dee? You okay?"  
  
In reply, both of their beepers gave a loud and annoying beeping and with a start that nearly had Ryo falling back against the bed in surprise, Dee gave a yelp and bolted upright, the sheets falling to pool in his lap.  
  
"Huh? Wha-?" was his first intelligent words of the day and gray eyes blinked several times in confusion.  
  
"It's our beepers Dee," came a gentle voice, penetrating his sleep-fogged mind and automatically, his befuddled gaze fell on the bedside table where two, mysterious little black boxes still emitted that ear-grating beeps.  
  
"Oh." He blinked again and stared rather stupidly at the said objects.  
  
A slim hand crossed his field of vision to pick up those mysterious things and with a deft flick, shut off that annoying sound for which he was profoundly grateful for. He was still trying to work out through his dead brain what the word 'beeper' meant when a face came into view.  
  
"God, you're so out of it this morning. You're sure you okay?"  
  
"Uh."  
  
Sigh. "Well, the precinct put in an emergency call so we have to get ready soon. Go take a shower and I'll get breakfast ready and some hot, strong coffee, ne?"  
  
Amazingly, he was able to do just that and some minutes later, shuffled into the kitchen more awake and definitely more alive than he was previously. It helped that the coffee today really did smelled extra strong. With a deep, theatrical groan, he flopped into a chair and laid his chin down on the table, arms hanging limply by his sides.  
  
"Need. Coffee. Please."  
  
Barely were the words out of his mouth when a mug was placed in front of him and he took a grateful sip. Dark, hot and bitter liquid filled his mouth and burned their way down to his stomach, giving off a nice warm glow and shooting some much needed caffeine into his starved body.  
  
Aah. . . .he could practically feel his brain kicking to life, motors humming, and he smiled at the vision of an angel sitting opposite him. "Good morning, Ryo my love."  
  
"Hallelujah, you're awake."  
  
"I think so. Hey, you promised breakfast right?"  
  
The brown-haired man shook his head apologetically. "Gomen, I'm afraid we hardly have enough time to finish our coffee even and besides, JJ called just now. He's at the crime scene. He said we better not eat anything we don't want to regurgitate later."  
  
Dee groaned again, this time a wholehearted one. "Great, just what I need to start the week."  
  
"It could be worse." Ryo offered in shared commiseration.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Berkley could come back from his vacation early and decided that you need to question the coroner later for an extensive report on the bodies."  
  
With a clenched fist and sparkling eyes filled with determination, Dee jumped to his feet and punched the air. "Let's go Ryo! The good city of New York needs us! Away we fly!"  
  
". . . . . . . ."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Dee took a deep breath and wished he hadn't. The minute he had stepped into that abandoned warehouse, now crawling with officers, CSI team and the bloodthirsty reporters, the unmistakable stench of rotting meat and dried blood had filled his nostrils and he silently gagged. Reaching into his trench coat pocket, he pulled out a small jar of Vicks and rubbed a liberal amount of the stinging cool ointment under his offended nose. Without a word, he passed it to Ryo who took it with a grateful 'arigato' and his lover followed his suit.  
  
It barely disguised the foul stench but it took the edge of it, at least, ensuring that for now, he won't be puking up today's coffee or last night's dinner. A shaft of sunlight streaming through a broken window highlighted light, purplish hair the two made their way over, picking their way carefully over bits of stones, glass and the forensics people scurrying all over the place.  
  
"Hey, JJ. What is it?"  
  
Contrary to his usual behaviour, the younger man did not try to glomp his favourite detective, instead, JJ nodded over to a marked off area beyond. Taking the unusual restraint as a sign, Dee and Ryo braced themselves mentally and walked further into the crime scene.  
  
As their eyes fell on the grisly display, the both of them immediately gagged and stumbled back slightly. In retrospect, Dee almost wished he could throw up. It seemed fitting to what he was witnessing now.  
  
They were little kids, boys, thirteen of them, all lined in a row. From what he could make out, they ranged in age from as young as five probably to around twelve. All of the bodies were naked, clothed only by dirt and the cuts and bruises that stained each innocent body. Slashes, now coated with dried blood decorated each wrists.  
  
And like a hellish proclamation of despair, or maybe victory, there were written across the far wall in large letters, above a rendition of an upside down cross:  
  
THESE ARE NOT THE CHOSEN ONES. 


	2. Chapter 2:It's Just A Yearly Thing, Ryo

A/N: Thanks so much to XZanayu and Ita-chan for reviewing! *giggle* I love praises. . . btw, I also have another fic up here. It's called "Come To Me" and it's a Yami no Matsuei fic. So if you like YnM, give it a try! Ne?  
  
Warning: Dee-Torture! Berkley-Feeling-a-bit-guilty-&-pissed-at-Dee-Torture!  
  
Disclaimer: Per usual!  
  
Dee was pretty damn sure that the files were written in English. After all, isn't that the major language used in all police correspondence and files? Yeah, the last time he checked, it was still English and he was sure as hell that he COULD read and speak English. . . .  
  
So why the hell is the papers in front of him don't make any sense at all?  
  
He squinted grey eyes even narrower and tried to make sense of it all. Instead, the words just got even more blurry and started to swim around in very interesting patterns. Almost bemused, he started to follow those lazily drifting words. . . . with a snap, he caught himself from falling face first into his desk and with a groan, shoved the file away from him.  
  
"I know, it's looking pretty hopeless isn't it?" came Ryo's comment from his side.  
  
The two of them were at the precinct at Dee's desk, which was buried under a massive pile of papers. A week had passed since the cult murders but still they haven't gotten a single piece of clue. What they have instead were just meagre bits of information of the dead kids. It doesn't help that all of them were orphans.  
  
And the most frustrating part was, all of them, every single one, were new kids in the orphanage they've been abducted from. It's bad enough that they were kids dumped by their anonymous parents, nobody at the various orphanages could give any information concerning them except their given names, either by their asshole parents or the orphanage supervisors.  
  
Dee and Ryo had ran themselves ragged the past week, interviewing employees, volunteers and other kids at the orphanages and the result of those interviews were shown in the papers currently taking up residence on Dee's desk.  
  
It was hopeless.  
  
But Dee and Ryo weren't the type to give up easily. They've gotten near impossible cases before and had cracked them. They could do it again. For Dee, it was rather personal this time. They were orphans dammit.  
  
With a sigh, he took another folder and opened it, trying to read again what he had read for possibly the millionth time. Beside him, Ryo was also doing the same, while twirling a pen in his hand absentmindedly. His knee was just brushing Dee's and it felt decidedly good, despite his frustrations and the growing headache he was having. In fact, one hand had decided to take voluntary action and was creeping sneakily across. . . .he was almost there. . . .  
  
"Dee-sempai!!!!"  
  
And found himself with a big leech attached to his neck.  
  
Meanwhile, the mighty god Thor had declared war on all infidels and was churning out his world-famous Lightning Bolts, banging merrily away on his heavenly anvil, which was located just behind that spot between Dee's eyes. Loki, the god of mischief, on the other hand, had led the other gods in a celebratory conga line and everyone was wearing spiked boots while stomping in time to the music. Those holy spiked boots were shooting lancing fires of pain through his head, complementing Thor's enthusiastic pounding.  
  
Dee sighed. "JJ," he began wearily. "Get off me, will you?" For Dee, that was perhaps the mildest reprimand he had ever given his too enthusiastic and too clingy colleague. His usual reaction would have been to jump up, scream and get the nearest crowbar to pry the gropy JJ off.  
  
Naturally, the whole office fell quiet at the sudden change in attitude and collectively, jaws dropped open in surprise.  
  
Miraculously, his leech actually did pry himself off and a face swam into view.  
  
"Hey, Dee," asked JJ, "are you okay?" Privately, he wondered why he was even concerned that for once, Dee-sempai hadn't tried to beat him off.  
  
"I'm fine," Dee answered wearily and stood up, determined to get a fresh cup of coffee to drown his head in. At least, he tried to stand up. What happened was that he got as far as standing up straight before Thor started his bloody war and the room started to spin around like a bad B-grade movie effect. He felt himself swaying in response and as his knees buckled, strong hands grasped him upright. He let himself sink into that warm embrace and smiled through his black bangs at his saviour.  
  
"Hey Ryo, thanks. You always know when to help don't cha?" he slurred out.  
  
Everyone was crowding close around them as Ryo propped him up and Dee laid his head on a broad shoulder and closed his eyes. The scent of Ryo's aftershave filled his nostrils and somehow lessened the pain in his poor head.  
  
"Dee, what's wrong?" Ryo sounded a bit frightened and inwardly, Dee winced. He didn't like making his lover get all worried like that and he tried to rally himself, trying to stand again. He had managed to move only a few inches when it became too much and with another groan, he collapsed again on Ryo.  
  
"It's nothing. Just a migraine," he managed to ground out.  
  
"C'mon, let's get you to the couch and you can rest, okay?" Ryo said softly. Those same hands helped him up and was literally carrying him across the room, into the staff lounge. Gently, he felt himself being lowered on to the battered couch and a moment later, Ryo had tucked his jacket underneath his head, serving as a pillow.  
  
He heard running water then and a second later, a wet cloth was pressed over his eyes and he sighed gratefully. "Thanks."  
  
"Can I get you anything else?"  
  
"Nah, just some painkillers would be nice. . ."  
  
"You got it," and Dee felt a pair of soft lips kissing his cheek gently. He fretted silently over the waste of opportunity but there was no help for it. If he tried to tackle Ryo now, he might end up puking over him instead.  
  
"Thanks, and can you close the light after that? It's a bit too bright."  
  
"Hai."  
  
As the room dimmed, Dee let himself drift into the waiting blackness and he silently, quietly, passed out.  
  
Berkley strode into the precinct like he owned it. Which, in a way, he did. . . .Hands stuffed in the pocket of his trousers and his expensive suit unsoiled despite the wet sleet pouring outside, he was all prepared to give a greeting kiss, hug or whatever else he could squeeze out from that delectable piece of. . . . .  
  
(Random author insert: . . . . . . .)  
  
Nevertheless, he was primed and ready and sorely disappointed.  
  
Ryo was not at his desk. Neither was that loudmouth whom Ryo fancied he'd actually like. In fact, Berkley narrowed his eyes dangerously while ignoring the slightly subdued greetings from his detectives, Laytner's absence was not to be tolerated since it was not yet lunchtime and he specifically remembered ordering the both of them to crack down as fast as it's humanly possible on the cult case. The mayor had decided to cut his vacation time short for it. Elections were coming up and he needed to beef up his campaign.  
  
Personally, Berkley was of the opinion that the current mayor was an asshole but since he's only a police commissioner, he had to swallow his ire.  
  
"Where's Laytner?" Berkley snapped.  
  
Drake spoke up hesitantly. "He's in the staff lounge sir. He's sleep-"  
  
Barely were the words out of his mouth when the commissioner strode to the closed door with the words "L unge" stencilled on it, the 'o' long gone, and shoved the door open where it banged against the wall. The room was dark, the shades drawn and the lights turned off and as the door produced the desired noise, a lump on the couch stirred and gave a groan.  
  
Sneering, Berkley flipped the light switch, making the lump groan even more and he stalked his way to the offending couch.  
  
"Care to explain why you're getting some shut eyes when I specifically told you to crack the case, Laytner?"  
  
The detective just gave another groan. A cloth was covering his head and Berkley's hand swiftly reached out and flicked it off.  
  
He was unpleasantly surprised to discover that Laytner looked like shit. His skin was flushed with sweat, a too pale contrast against his black hair which lay limp and tangled. As grey eyes blinked in the sudden light, the detective's mouth twisted into barely a ghost of his usual sneer he reserved especially for the commissioner.  
  
"Had a nice vacation, *sir*?" his words also lacked his usual spite and brashness and Berkley was surprised to find himself feeling a bit sorry for that. He decided it must be an effect from all those rich holiday food.  
  
He was saved from actually showing some concern when an angry Ryo rushed in, whispering a shout, "Who the hell opened the lig-oh, hello sir."  
  
Ryo stood there rather awkwardly, a pharmacy bag in his hand while Berkley tried to think up of a way to save some face. His eyes fell on the bag in Ryo's hand and he nodded.  
  
"Well Maclean? What are you waiting for?"  
  
Ryo nodded and hurried over to Dee, after getting a cup of water. Taking out the meds, he helped Dee to swallow them, the black haired man choking slightly as he tried to drink. After Ryo had helped Dee to lie back down, Berkley ushered him out despite Ryo's protests.  
  
Once outside, he closed the door behind him. "You can take Laytner home today. Both of you can get some time off and I'll send the case files over to your apartment later. If the both of you can make it in tomorrow, fine. If not, take three days off," Berkley said curtly.  
  
Ryo's eyes brightened at that and he smiled a genuine smile of thanks. For a moment, Berkley felt a pang that he could never get Ryo to smile like that for him.  
  
"Thank you sir. Don't worry, we'll still be working on the case, no matter what."  
  
With that, he quickly gathered up his and Dee's stuff and hurried back inside the lounge. A moment later, helped by Drake, they carried Dee out, the man hanging limply between them.  
  
Berkley watched them go in silence.  
  
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Ryo was not the kind to worry excessively. In fact, he was not exactly a worrier by nature but nor was he totally a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Rather, he was like any other normal guy out there in New York. . . .okay, the love of his life was also a guy but that's another matter all together and does not fit into this context currently.  
  
Ryo was worried.  
  
The minute they got home, he had taken Dee into the bedroom and helped him change into a T-shirt and boxers. Somehow, as Dee was changing, Ryo couldn't help but feel as though something was wrong. . . maybe it was due to the fact that Dee was practically naked in the middle of changing but did not take the chance to tackle him to the bed. . . .  
  
It felt kind of wrong somehow, that Dee wasn't trying to get them to make out. He missed it.  
  
As he stirred the soup he was cooking, a frown marred his forehead as he realized that they hadn't even. . . . er. . . slept together the whole week. They still sleep in the same bed together, yeah, it's just that they hadn't had any. . . . you know. . . sex at all.  
  
Something was definitely wrong.  
  
True, they had been pretty busy the past week, running around here and there, and they had gotten to bed late each night, both totally worn out. . . .Still, this was DEE they're talking about, for God's sake.  
  
"Damn," Ryo cursed softly. He had forgotten that they had run out of salt and white pepper. He turned the stove off and looking into the darkened bedroom, he called out softly.  
  
"Dee?"  
  
The man stirred slightly beneath the covers and his lover answered wearily. "Yeah?"  
  
"I'm going down to the shops for a while. I need some salt. Don't move okay? If somebody comes, don't answer the door. Bikky's got the key so he can let himself in."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Closing the door again, Ryo grabbed his house keys and quietly locked the front door behind him. Dashing down the stairs two at a time, he hurried out into the New York noon, still sleeting.  
  
*  
  
That was weird, Bikky thought to himself. Judging by the shoes at the front entrance, Dee was already home. But not Ryo. What could Dee be doing at home so early in the day? Frowning, he wandered into the living room but there was no sign of the pest. Going past the kitchen, he spied the pot on the stove and his stomach growled in answer.  
  
He picked up the ladle and sniffed the cool broth; chicken soup. He took a tentative sip and nearly spat it out again.  
  
"Urgh! No salt! What the hell was Dee thinking?"  
  
He dropped the ladle back into the soup with a splash and stomped to the bedroom. Judging by the closed door, the slacker had probably fallen asleep in the middle of cooking or something as innocuously idiotic as that.  
  
He banged on the door furiously, blond locks flying, sending a sharp staccato throughout the apartment. "Dee! What the hell are you doing? The soup sucks! You forgot the salt!"  
  
Silence greeted his furious tirade and Bikky's eyes narrowed dangerously. That big slug was asking for it. Without further ceremony, he slammed the door open and stalked to the bed. The nerve of the guy! Here he was, all cuddled up under the covers, curtains drawn and the lights out while dinner was going down the drain!  
  
A malicious smile of revenge twisted his young face and he yanked the curtains open, flooding the room with all the dreary bright goodness of the sick New York sun.  
  
Dee didn't even stir.  
  
Right, this calls for a more drastic measure then.  
  
Hands gripping the duvet tightly, he counted under his breath to three silently, and at '3', yanked the duvet down. The words were *just* nicely ready at the tip of his tongue, simply begging to be poured like the acid rains of hell upon the head of the lazy lout when what he was seeing finally sank in.  
  
Oh.  
  
*Oh*.  
  
Dammit.  
  
Dee was curled up in the foetus position, hands clasped together, cradled to his chest and they looked so fragile and delicate. His skin was so pale and papery looking, sweat running down in rivulets and his breath rasped softly in his throat.  
  
Bikky was starting to feel like the biggest idiot in the world, the duvet still dangling from his hands, looking decidedly sad and forlorn now that his supposed victory was snatched away. In hindsight, Bikky realized that Dee was too sick to have been the one to cook the soup so that meant that it was Ryo. Who was probably at the shops getting the salt. Only now he remembered him saying that they were out of it last night at dinner.  
  
Ohgoddammit.  
  
The older man, his long time nemesis, archenemy and a grudgingly-silently- admitted-big brother finally stirred, the light shining directly on his face and his eyes fluttered open. They seemed to have trouble coming into focus and after a bit, they finally fixed upon the guilty boy. Bikky was now decidedly red around the ears.  
  
"Bikky?" Dee rasped out. "What are you doing home so early squirt?"  
  
"It's a half-day today. I told you guys last week, remember?" Bikky answered gruffly. He realised then that he was still holding the duvet and flushing even more, he quickly dropped it and tucked it back around Dee.  
  
"Thnaks," smiled Dee. He opened his mouth to say something else when a spasm of pain crossed his face and he winced.  
  
"Dee? You okay man?" Bikky asked anxiously. What if Dee got worse and needed medical help? Dammit, what was taking Ryo so long?  
  
Instead, with surprising speed considering his state, Dee pushed off the duvet and leapt off the bed. He stumbled to the bathroom, yanking the door open and a moment later, Bikky could hear the sounds of violent retching.  
  
Dammitdammitdammit.  
  
He ran to the bathroom himself and found Dee on his knees in front of the toilet, head hanging wretchedly over the seat. Not knowing what else to do, he rubbed Dee's back soothingly, trying to help in some way and Dee gave him a wan smile in thanks. It took him several more gut twisting vomitting before he emptied all of his stomach and even then he still felt like puking. Nevertheless, with a trembling hand, he flushed the toilet and with Bikky's help, managed to rinse out the sour taste in his mouth and stumbled back to the bed.  
  
Bikky had just put Dee back under the covers and had drawn the curtains closed again when he heard a key turning in the front door's lock. Relief flooded through his body and he ran out of the room, skidding to a stop just in front of Ryo who was looking quite wet. He had a shopping bag in one hand which he dropped to the floor in surprise at Bikky's sudden entrance.  
  
"Bikky? How's Dee?"  
  
Bikky fixed frightened eyes on the drenched man and blurted out, "Dee's looking pretty bad! He threw up a lot just now!"  
  
Ryo was cursing a lot today. The shops were just five minutes away and he had planned to be as quick as he can. Naturally, he had ran into some trouble; an old lady had got run over by some kids on bicycles and he had stopped to help, making sure that she gotten the proper medical attention and all in all, ended up over an hour outside.  
  
Bikky was right. Dee was definitely getting worse. Underneath his own cool palm, Dee felt hot, the sweat trickling down his temples. At his gentle touch, Dee opened his eyes and smiled tiredly.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey yourself. Listen, I think we should get you to the hospital. You're getting worse Dee."  
  
He stopped when Dee shook his head faintly. "It's nothing," Dee insisted.  
  
"What the hell do you mean 'it's nothing'? You're sick dammit!"  
  
"It's just that time of the year again."  
  
"Huh?" Ryo was frankly puzzled. What did Dee meant? That time of the year again? What, Thanksgiving?  
  
Dee swallowed, his throat feeling too dry and scratchy. He didn't really feel like talking some more but Ryo deserved an explanation before he drove himself crazy worrying.  
  
"I used to get sick like this, around this time of the year, every year. It stopped though, the year you first came to the precinct. . . I guess I'm getting a resurgence."  
  
"Did you ever get a check up then?"  
  
A faint nod. "Yeah, they didn't find anything wrong. The doctors just think it's stress. It'll be over in a few days or so."  
  
Ryo didn't really feel all that comforted now. He was still worried. From the time they first met, Dee had never gotten sick before. The man was as annoyingly healthy as a horse so seeing him down and out like this was more than slightly unnerving. What to do then?  
  
"Hey, they say the new guy that moved in apartment 2C is a doctor," Bikky spoke up from his post near the door.  
  
"Really?" Ryo smiled in sudden relief. "Yokatta! Bikky, can you stay here with Dee while I go get him?"  
  
The boy nodded, blond ponytail bobbing up and down and Ryo then instructed him to make some cold compresses for Dee.  
  
Without even taking the time to change his wet clothes, he quickly ran out of his apartment. He hoped the doctor made house calls.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
His robed were the blackest midnight hue and they fell form his frame like an undulating wave of living darkness, rising and falling with his frantic breathing. The cowl attached to it threw his face into shadows so all that they could see was the occasional glint of white teeth and the flashing of fevered, excited eyes.  
  
"The time is near at hand, my disciples! For even as light was bestowed upon mankind with the birth of the saviour, so was darkness given birth!"  
  
As one, his following fell to their knees, chanting in mass devotion. The deep rumbling shook through the room, sounding like the opening of the gates of hell itself. On the wall, the torches gave of a sooty glow, twisting and flickering in time with their prayers.  
  
Just behind their leader, on a roughly hewn stone altar which was coated with dried and fresh blood, the broken body of a small child, barely ten years of age, lay still and unmoving.  
  
Slowly, slowly, like a lazily flowing river, his own blood fell from the slits on his wrists, to stain his already stained coffin. A bead of blood, hesitating just at the lip of a cut, quivered in anticipation.  
  
"Find him! We must find him! Even as the light shines down upon us, so must the darkness! Find him!"  
  
A splash of blood.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Evil is not an abstract concept  
  
It lives  
  
It has a form  
  
It stalks  
  
It is too real  
  
-Dr. Tom Dooley-  
  
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~to be continued~  
  
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A/N: So people, how was it? Whew, it took sweat, blood and tears for me to get that chapter out! - _ -'  
  
If anyone could give me some suggestions on how the story should flow from here, please tell! Release me from this painful bondage of coming up with a better chapter than the one before! ^ . ^ Seriously. 


	3. Chapter 3:Anomaly

A/N: Ah, minna! Gomen, gomen! I'm sorry it took so long to update! I was too engrossed in my other fic, A Love Story, that I neglected this one! (Poor Dee. . .sniff). Never fear! I will update faster! Just for you guys! That, and the fact I finally have a hint of where I'm actually going with this story. . . . .yes, I did plunge into it blindly but hey! It'll all work out. . . . .*prays* It'll all work out. . . . .  
  
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CHAPTER 3:Anomaly ________________________________________________________________________  
  
"It's just a very bad fever," the doctor announced, folding back his stethoscope and dumping it in his medical bag. Beside him, still lying prone on the bed, his patient gave a derisive snort.  
  
"What else is new?" was his mumbled reply.  
  
To Ryo's relief, Jeremiah Gooding, the new tenant, *was* a doctor and had been more than willing to come over. He was perhaps in his mid-forties, hair graying at the temples and sporting a carefully trimmed mustache. He had a kindly look about him, reminding Ryo of those portrayals of good, old- fashioned country doctors. It was the kind of face you trusted instantly.  
  
Dr. Gooding patted Dee's shoulder affectionately, saying, "It's good to keep your spirits up when you're sick. It makes you get better that much quicker. Now, I want you to stay in bed for at least 3 days, until your fever has completely gone down. Understand?"  
  
Dee gave a groan in reply.  
  
"The sooner you get better, the sooner you can cuddle with your friend there so no complaints, you hear?"  
  
Dee opened an eye in slow surprise while Ryo blushed madly, fidgeting behind the doctor. "You're remarkably perspective. And quite tolerant it seems."  
  
The doctor shrugged good-naturedly. "When you've been a doctor for as long as I have, nothing really escapes you. Or surprises you."  
  
Later, as Ryo escorted the doctor out, the man placed a hand on Ryo's, a look of understanding on his face. "I know you're very worried about your friend there but all he needs now is plenty of rest, fluids, and lots of quiet. Make sure he gets that, okay? Chain him to the bed if you have to but try not to agitate him too much."  
  
Ryo blinked at the rather contradictory advice and the doctor chuckled. "I can tell from one look that this Laytner is quite stubborn so just try your best. If anything urgent comes up, just try your best to reason with him. The important thing is, don't get him excited."  
  
"Yes, I will. Thank you."  
  
"And that means no bedroom activities either!" He said, grinning, and wagging a finger in mock warning.  
  
"Doctor!"  
  
Dr. Gooding laughed a deep belly laugh and slapped Ryo's back affectionately. "Ah! The joys of being young! Anyway, just make sure he takes his medicine, all right?"  
  
"I will. Thanks again."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
True to Dr. Gooding's prediction, Dee finally felt a bit more human by the third day of his fever. The inactivity had left him chaffing though, and when his migraine let him, he complained bitterly to the patient Ryo. The man though, infuriatingly, would just smile, give him the medicines left by the doctor, and told him to shut up and rest.  
  
Rose, true to his word, had given them five days off, on the condition that Ryo continued the investigation home and Ryo had been more than happy to comply. He really couldn't leave Dee alone in the apartment. The fever left him weak as a baby, even needing his help to go to the bathroom.  
  
This was the third day though, and Dee definitely felt much better. He hadn't had a migraine since yesterday and he had managed to finish all of his dinner the night before. Dee counted that as a marked improvement and as such, he deserved to get out of bed, right?  
  
"You're not going anywhere until you've completely recovered, mister," Ryo warned him sternly. Ryo was wearing track bottoms and a t-shirt as he lounged in an armchair by Dee's bedside. The small table next to him was stacked high with the folders he had taken from the office. He closed the one he had been scanning through and tried to distract Dee.  
  
"It's been nearly two weeks and we still haven't gotten any leads. Drake told me that Rose is going crazy 'cause the Mayor has been calling him up every day asking about developments," Ryo frowned.  
  
"Hallelujah."  
  
"Dee," Ryo said reprovingly and the man just gave him a disarming grin.  
  
"I meant about Rose of course. I think it's refreshing having someone drive him to distraction. It's about time too," he added cheerfully. "He's bothered me enough already."  
  
Ryo ignored him and went on. "What I don't get is how come none of our informers found anything as yet. You'd think with the reward Rose put up, they'd be falling all over themselves to claim it."  
  
"Well, I thi-ouch." Dee gave a small grimace of pain, touching the side of his head.  
  
"Another migraine?" Ryo asked, alarmed. He opened the drawer, taking out the bottle of painkillers but before he could take out a pill, Dee gave a groan and slid down, lying on his side.  
  
Ryo abandoned the bottle and quickly sat by Dee's side, careful not to jostle him. He reached out and placed a hand on Dee's forehead, feeling his temperature. It felt cool underneath his touch and Dee wasn't even sweating. Still, Dee gave another pitiful groan and Ryo leant close, trying to get Dee to face him.  
  
"Dee? What's wrong? Tell me!"  
  
Dee told him. Just not in the way he expected.  
  
With more than a little surprise, Ryo suddenly found the back of his neck gripped by a hand which definitely did NOT feel weak with pain and he was dragged down unceremoniously, letting out a yelp of surprise on the way.  
  
Soft, pliant lips meshed into his and all forms of coherent thought flew out of his mind as he eagerly leaned into the kiss. Dee was being fabulously, tortuously slow and gentle; he nibbled tenderly on Ryo's lower lip, eliciting a moan of pleasure from the brown haired man. Instead of his usual tactic of throwing the man into complete disarray by darting his tongue in that sweet cavern, he was content to throw Ryo off kilter even more with the softest, gentlest, most innocent kiss he could dredge up in all of his years of experience.  
  
Amazingly, that innocent kiss had them both gasping for breath by the time it ended.  
  
Ryo stared into grey eyes darkened with passion. His face was mere inches away from Dee's and he knew his own eyes were a stormy deep brown. The lack of. . . 'activity' for more than a week had definitely done wonders. That had to be the most amazing kiss he had had in . . . in. . .heck, that was a pretty good kiss. Blinking, his brain finally registered the wrongness of the whole scenario.  
  
"You were faking it!" Ryo proclaimed indignantly.  
  
Dee shrugged his shoulders modestly. "Naturally. I had to give you SOME sign that I feel good enough already."  
  
Ryo rolled his eyes in exasperation and made to get off the bed. "You did that just to convince me to let you get back to work? Think again Laytner."  
  
A hand reached out and stopped him from doing so. He turned around to find Dee sitting, face leaning close with a look of mock anger.  
  
"Who ever said that I did that just so you'd let me out?"  
  
"But, you're still recovering," Ryo protested weakly. The man's intense gaze was pulling him in until he felt he was drowning in pools of grey and black. He swallowed, tongue darting out to lick at suddenly dry lips.  
  
"Then help me get better," Dee replied simply. He didn't need to say anymore. Ryo was like that. He didn't need to have things spelled out for him. He knew, without a doubt what he meant, just as Dee could always read him so well. That's what people in love do I guess, Dee thought absently as Ryo pushed him back down gently.  
  
Ryo was maneuvering himself until he lay fully on top of him, but was careful to not put his weight on top directly. His fingers twined themselves in his hair, kneading, stroking and pulling gently on the silky strands as they kissed. And damn, Ryo was a good kisser. He took the cue from Dee, kissing him so passionately soft and innocent, just lips meshing against lips. He was lost in a haze of delight but he grounded his hips against Ryo's thighs in a silent pleading.  
  
Ryo didn't disappoint him. Licking, he slid his tongue across in between lips already swollen and red and Dee obediently opened his mouth. The tongue darted in and stroked leisurely against his, promising him slow and sweet pleasure.  
  
It wasn't often that Ryo took on the aggressive role but when he did, it drove Dee wild. He delighted in taking his time, exploring every sweet spot and caressing every bare inch until Dee was practically begging him for it but today, he was being even more slow, even more tender and Dee was loving every minute of it. Ryo's hand snaked up underneath his t-shirt and rubbed a hardened nipple. He gave a moan of pleasure and arched his back, trying to feel more.  
  
Ryo broke off the kiss and he sat up, breathing as heavily as Dee as he crouched between Dee's legs. With one move, he took off his t-shirt, throwing it to the floor and helped Dee's off. Needless to say, other unnecessary items of clothing found themselves being unceremoniously pulled off and dumped on the floor.  
  
It's kinda funny, Ryo thought to himself even as he explored those territories long left neglected. It's kinda funny that I was actually afraid of this. Making love with another guy. But then, Dee isn't *just* a guy. God, no. He was exquisite. A study of male perfection and he loved showing his appreciation of it time and time again. And since Dee *is* recuperating, why, he definitely had to make sure that the dark-haired man doesn't tire himself out, right?  
  
Well, not too much anyway.  
  
Soft moans and pleasured sighs danced in the air as Ryo worked his way down slowly, letting Dee feel every single kiss, every single touch. As he came to the evidence of Dee's pleasure though, he was surprised to suddenly find the man sitting upright, fingers thrusting through his hair and pulling his mouth into a bruising kiss. When they broke off, Dee was breathing hard, whispering to him, "Please Ryo. Now, I need you."  
  
Breathing just as heavily, Ryo quickly prepared himself. With the both of them still sitting, facing each other, Dee quickly raised himself on his knees and gently, slowly, lowered himself onto Ryo, biting his lip in painful ecstasy as his body swallowed each throbbing inch. Filled completely with his lover, he let his head fall on to Ryo's shoulder, black hair falling messily over muscled, sweat-slicked skin as Ryo doubled the pleasure more, stroking his arousal, timing it with his own rhythm as he rocked slowly, building up the momentum.  
  
Dee closed stormy grey eyes as he drew in a shuddering breath. As their momentum gained, he bit Ryo's shoulder softly, moaning out his need. At his little nips, he could feel his lover getting more and more excited, their rhythm rising with their urgency.  
  
So close, so goddamn close, was his scattered thoughts.  
  
Tanned arms, weak from his fever, wrapped a fierce embrace around the man he loves as the long-awaited for wave crashed over him. Warm liquid spurted, coating Ryo's thighs and stomach and in response, he felt the intense, near-scalding heat of Ryo's own climax pumped deep into him.  
  
"Oh, god, Dee!"  
  
Ryo would need to wear a turtleneck for a couple of days, was Dee's hazed thoughts, taking in the darkened, red spots that marked Ryo's right shoulder and neck, evidence of his little loving nips earlier. Still breathing hard, he let Ryo gently lower him back down on the bed and he sighed as he felt Ryo puling out of him. Rather regretfully, he allowed Ryo to carefully wipe them both dry and when done, he tugged on Ryo's hand.  
  
"Keep me company? Just for a while?" he asked, eyes softly pleading. A sudden melancholy had filled him, drowning out the golden euphoria of their lovemaking and now he desperately needed to have Ryo as near as possible. "Bikky won't be home till late anyway," he added, seeing Ryo hesitate slightly and correctly interpreting it as anxiety of not greeting the boy home.  
  
Remembering that Bikky was staying over at Carol's till late, Ryo smiled. Obediently, he climbed into the bed, sliding underneath the cool covers beside Dee. Surprisingly, it was the black-haired man that sidled close and rested his head in the crook of his shoulder. Ryo felt a little quickening inside at the oddly submissive gesture, reminiscent of what he usually did and he hugged Dee close, resting his chin on silky hair. He rubbed his hands soothingly up and down Dee's back and Dee snuggled closer.  
  
And he wondered.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
"No."  
  
"My fever broke two days ago!"  
  
"Exactly. TWO days ago. Which means you're still recuperating."  
  
"And I'm feeling way better! C'mon Ryo, I ate everything that you cooked and haven't thrown up once!"  
  
"You still got today left in your sick leave! Use it! Aren't you the one who's always complaining about Rose getting so hard on you? Now he's actually being visibly considerate and you're not taking advantage of it?"  
  
"And it's still OUR case Ryo. I have the right to be there. Hell, I have to be there!"  
  
". . . . . .nothing I say will change your mind, will it?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Even if I *do* handcuff you to the bed, I'm pretty sure that you'll find a way to get free right?"  
  
"Mastered that technique since the academy, babe."  
  
". . . . . . . . . . . . . ."  
  
Big smile.  
  
"Fine." Sigh. "But don't get too excited. And don't pick a fight with Rose. You do that and you'll be sleeping alone tonight."  
  
". . . . . . . . .oh, alright."  
  
Another abandoned warehouse. Great.  
  
The area was already cordoned off with yellow tape but that didn't stop curious onlookers and passer byes from edging right up to the plastic barrier and craning their necks to see past the officers and detectives milling about the site. Lights flashed from dozens of flash bulbs as the 'hounds' sniffed eagerly for any bit of morsel they can run off with. Heads turned as their car rolled to a stop next to a black-and-white cruiser. Getting out and barely had they shut the doors when a number of the reporters surrounded them, lights flashing even more and recorders practically in their faces.  
  
"Detectives! This is the second killing spree of the Anti-Christ Killer! What does the police have to say about that?"  
  
"Detectives! There's a rumour going around that it's the work of a militant group! Can you confirm that?"  
  
"Detectives-!"  
  
"Detectives-!"  
  
Goddamn reporters. Dee growled as a microphone was pushed too near his face. Barking out for an officer to clear the area, he and Ryo pushed through the throng of howling reporters, ignoring their questions and buzzing. Ducking under the tape, they made their way over to Drake, who was leaning against the rusty, metal-gray wall of the warehouse and smoking a cigarette.  
  
"Wonderful day, isn't it fellas?" Drake gave them an ironic grin and squashed the butt of his spent cigarette under a scuffed heel. "Hey Dee. Feeling better already?"  
  
Dee tore his eyes away from the beautiful sight of the recently quashed cigarette and sighed. "Kinda. Man, I'm dying for a smoke. Haven't had one in a week," he replied mournfully. An elbow jabbed his side and he smiled innocently at Ryo. "I know, I know. Not until I'm totally recovered."  
  
Ryo rolled his eyes and asked Drake, "Same M.O.?"  
  
Drake nodded. "Yup. Still thirteen of 'em, still little kids and still brutally murdered. Definitely looking like a cult case guys."  
  
Ryo nodded at the gaping mouth of the warehouse, the door long gone and hinges rusted away to bare stubs of twisted metal. "Been in there?"  
  
"Yeah. Makes me hate my job, sometimes," Drake sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "Oh yeah, before I forget; here's the coroner's report for the first one." Saying so, he handed over a thick, battered brown file, the corners a bit tattered and dog-eared.  
  
"Finally!" Dee let out an explosive sigh. He took the proffered file and asked, "What took them so long?"  
  
The man shrugged. "They picked a bad time to reshuffle their system and I heard that it took them several days just to start autopsies. Too few staff, too many dead bodies."  
  
The two of them nodded in understanding, though still upset over the delay. While the cause of death had been fairly evident, they had chaffed at the potential clues they might be missing and the coroner's report would definitely help shed some light on the case. They made their way in slowly, letting their eyes adjust to the dimmer light. It was practically déjà vu, the same scene as the first murders discovered.  
  
The bodies were arranged in a neat row at the back and like the first one, red letters painted on the wall wailed out the same message, that none of these were the chosen. Chosen of what? Dee braced himself for the expected gruesomeness and he wasn't disappointed. The bodies were naked, dirt and bruised covered while an arm or two showed evidence of being cruelly broken.  
  
"Detectives! Over here!"  
  
They looked up to see Rose himself, standing near the far end of the macabre line. He was half-swallowed by the gathering gloom as bright lights were trained on the center of the scene. Careful to not disturb the forensics team working the site, they picked their way gingerly over to the commissioner, him and Ryo nodding a greeting while he restrained the smart remark he had ready for the blond man. Ryo has this bad habit of carrying out his threats. Especially those concerning the bedroom and couch.  
  
Rose tilted his head to the side, golden hair falling rakishly on to his glasses and he lifted an enquiring eyebrow.  
  
"What do you think?" he asked.  
  
Puzzled, they looked in the direction he had indicated and saw what had grabbed the commissioner's attention. An anomaly. The first case had the corpses all lined up in a row and eyes staring up to the heavens; not exactly neatly arranged due to the massive abuse the bodies had undertaken but nevertheless, arranged. Here, a little boy of around 8, from what Dee could tell, had disrupted the formation. Instead of lying quietly in the grotesque parade the killer had lined them in, he was face down, a cheek pressed into the dirt and body draped across the one next to him, fingers clawed in a rictus of pain, rigor mortis locking the joints in their final testament of agony. Small, bare and delicate feet were pushed into the loose gravel, stiffened in death, as was his eyes that lay blank, open and staring while his young mouth that should have known only joy and laughter, was twisted in a mask of pain. It was so painfully obvious. So much so that Dee felt the blood draining away from his face and by his side, Ryo pressed a trembling hand against his mouth, face pale as understanding dawned in him too.  
  
The little boy had been trying to get away.  
  
He was still alive when the killer left.  
  
He was still alive.  
  
"He was. . . ." Dee whispered.  
  
"Alive," Ryo finished, face blanched and eyes filled with pain. "He tried to get away but. . . ."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
~to be continued~  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys made my day! You know, I have finally learned the art of HTML (finally. . . .) only to discover that FF.net supports very little HTML tags. . . . .bad ff.net. . . . .nearly banged my head against the computer. Anyways, I promise that the next chapters will come out faster, okay? ^^ Reviews! 


	4. Chapter 4:My PictureCollage

_A/N: AH! GOMENESAI, MINNA-SAMA! I am so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! *wrings hands guiltily* At first, I wanted to put it off till I structured out the whole story but I realized if I did that, then I'll NEVER get anything out! So I told myself, Kits, just type the damn thing out and we'll see where you go with it, okay? Hey, at least the long wait has at last made me realize who's the villain and what the hell was he actually planning to do. . . .(Ah, Kits, you just confessed to everyone that you had no idea where the story was going to in the first place. . .) *sweatdrop*_

_Warnings: Gruesome details and a nice __Dee__. Oh my._

_Disclaimer: If I actually owned FAKE, believe me when I say that __Dee__ would not have THAT much trouble in getting Ryo in to bed. . . .but I do own my OC. Not that I like him THAT much. . .anyone want him? Ah, if only my villain can be a certain albino Japanese doctor who's a sadistic bastard and a psycho killer to boot with fashionable dress sense. . .*Kits slaps her cheeks as shoujo-like effects of stars and flowers burst around her face* Muraki-sama! Ah, aishiteru! *drools*_

________________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 4: My picture-collage

________________________________________________________________________

"Okay everyone," Rose knocked his knuckles on the scarred table impatiently, trying to get his detectives' attention. The meeting room was a cramped, gloomy affair on usual days but with the entire detective force crowding in today, it was getting practically claustrophobic. Despite autumn having its hold on the city, the air inside was stale and redolent with cigarette smoke and it was getting near stifling in here. Rose waved a hand at JJ and the young man quickly jumped up to open a window. The opening was barely several inches, the latches painted shut but the breeze that swirled in caused an audible sigh to go around the room.

The buzz slowly died down as everyone took available seats. Rose took the seat at the head of the rectangular table, Ryo on his right with Dee beside him and the chief on his left. The rest of his detectives filled up the remaining space, falling silent as he flipped open the case file.

"As you all know, starting from today, everyone is pulled off other cases. Orders from above say we're to concentrate solely on this case till it's solved. MacLean and Laytner will head the team, and they are to report directly to me." He gave a sideways glance at the Japanese-American and smiled slightly. The brown-haired man shifted uneasily under his gaze.

"So," he announced. "What do we have?"

"Sir," Ryo cleared his throat and opened his own file. "The first murders consisted of 13 victims, all orphans newly registered with their respective orphanages. Birth parents were unknown and none had been put up for adoption. Due to delays from the coroner's office, we've only just gotten the results of the autopsies."

Rose steepled his fingers, and said, "And?"

Dee spoke up next, having held on to the coroner's report since Drake handed it over. "Autopsies confirmed that all 13 boys were raped," he said, his voice hammered flat.

Everyone drew in their breath sharply in surprise, including Rose. Not a few were pale with shock and disgust. Dee went on, not even needing to refer to the papers. Every little detail had been burned to his memory.

"DNA tests show that there were at least 4 different rapists, but the DNAs are currently unidentifiable. We're running the results in the FBI database for matches. All 13 bodies also showed evidence of massive trauma, mainly due to repeated beatings with long, heavy objects, probably a baseball bat. But while all of them suffered heavy, internal damage, the cause of death for 9 of them was massive blood loss from the incisions on their wrists. 4 of them succumbed to their injuries.

Time of death differs for all of them but they were spaced relatively close to each other. The conclusion is that they were probably killed one by one. That's basically it." Dee leaned back in his chair and stared ahead unseeingly through the grimed windows. Silence hung thick and heavy in the air.

By his side, Ryo had turned deathly pale and his hands trembled slightly as he jotted down notes. There was fear in him. What if it had been Bikky? All this was lost on Dee though, who barely noticed his partner's agitation. His mind was a swirl of colors and images as the murder scene played itself over and over again.

Rose was the first to break the tension. "Any ideas people?"

"It's pretty obvious from the crime scene that it's a religious killing," Ted offered. "The inverted cross is usually a symbol of dark cults, most probably an Anti-Christ thing. Then there's also the symbolic reference to 13 victims. Christ had his 12 apostles, Judas his 13th. So we're probably looking at a satanic cult. How the 13 victims fit in and the meaning behind the phrase 'chosen one' is still unclear though."

"We'll start from there then," Rose nodded in approval. "I want every known and unknown cult in New York investigated. Mark those with criminal records, no matter how petty. I want a detailed report on my desk by Monday morning. And MacLean?"

"Yes sir?"

"Contact all of our informants. Make them talk. Up the reward if you have to but I want information, no matter how you get it."

"Yes sir."

Taking the cue, everyone got up, moving slowly towards the door. Most of them were already busy comparing possible sources for the cult research. If there was anything that they hated more as cops, other than having one of their own hurt, were having kids involved. There was, after all, a line to be drawn.

________________________________________________________________________

"What are you doing Bikky?"

Sun-gold hair flipped back in a sharp gesture, the young boy fixed an irritated gaze upon the dark-haired man who was an annoying, permanent fixture in Ry-their place these past 2 years. On the table before him, multi-colored papers formed a riotous blizzard, along with the necessary tools; a pair of scissors, an X-acto knife and a pot of glue.

"What does it look like I'm doing, you idiot?" he snapped. "I'm doing my homework or have you gone blind?"

Dee didn't rise up to the bait, as much as Bikky had wanted him to. The past week had been relatively dull, he had to admit. Dee being sick as a dog had deprived him of a sounding board for his ever growing collection of finely thought out insults and he had chafed at the relative peacefulness that had invaded the 2-bedroom apartment. He had taken his turn in looking after Dee, relieving Ryo who was apt to stay up all night if he didn't force him to get some rest. Now that Dee was back on his feet, he had looked forward to trading half-meant abuse but ever since they came back from the big precinct meeting on the whole Anti-Christ killing (geez, can't the media come up with a catchier name?), Dee and Ryo both had been pretty quiet with Ryo constantly reminding him to take care of himself, that he should never accept ride from strangers, don't stop in dark alleyways and-

Bikky shook his head in remembrance. Ryo could be the ultimate mother hen at times but truth to tell, he liked it. So someone cared for him after all.

Dee pulled out a chair and sank into it. He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing up the dark tresses while the thick ash-gray sweater he wore emphasized his gray eyes and the circles beneath that rest was still unable to banish. "Homework for what?" he asked instead.

Bikky rolled his eyes at the most mundane response Dee gave but answered him anyway. Besides, he really shouldn't try baiting the man too much now anyway. Ryo had declared firmly that even though Dee could get out of bed now, he was not, I repeat, **not **to exert himself. That meant taking things slow. That meant that Bikky had to swallow his insults for some time, if the glint in Ryo's eyes meant anything.

"My English teacher got it into her head that it'd be really 'creative' and 'mind-expanding' if we tried to do our essays in picture-form," he said with the barest hint of sarcasm coloring his tone. Personally, Mrs. Gibbons could take her picture essay and stuff it up her-

"Do you want some help?" Dee asked.

Huh? He blinked in surprise. "You want to help?"

Broad shoulders were lifted in the barest of shrugs. "Ryo's making dinner, I have nothing to do and I still can't smoke. So I either help you or take a nap. And believe me when I say I'm sick and tired of that bed. I need to see something else besides white cotton sheets."

He glared suspiciously at the patiently waiting man. Finally after an age of silent contemplation, he nodded his head once.

"Fine. But if you screw up, it's on your head," he warned.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Ryo could still hear what was going on beyond the kitchen despite the headphones he perpetually wore when cooking. While today's choice of accompanying music was Giuseppe Tartini's 'Devil's Trill' (a favourite classical piece) playing in his ears, he strained to make out any form of activity in the living room. Bikky had assured him earlier that he was starting on his homework while Dee had been relaxing on the couch. His lover had offered to help with dinner but he had been firmly turned down. Despite the flash of irritation in Dee's eyes at his refusal, he did not need to say anything when a moment later, Dee passed a hand before his eyes, a brief headache plaguing him from what he could tell. His silence was enough of a reprimand and Dee had grudgingly retreated to the couch.

Today's meeting had taken their toll on the both of them. While he was flattered that Rose had thought he and Dee should head the investigation team, he was, nonetheless, upset about the whole case. Him and Dee both. For him, it had been the fact that it was kids who're suffering in the hands of sick psychos and it scared him that one day, it might be gold-streaked hair found lying in a pool of blood while blue eyes stared at him blankly. For Dee, it was enough that the fact it had been orphans. He knew that Dee feared to see one of Penguin's kids lying there too. Dee had also taken to looking worried when Bikky was out. He had spent countless times before the windows of the apartment, keeping an eye out for Bikky and when the boy finally came in to view, an almost imperceptible sigh would escape him. Despite his slight amusement at the affection Dee tried not to show for Bikky, he knew that Dee loved the boy like his own, just as Bikky loved him too. He just had to face the facts that the two of them showed their love for each other through insults and endless sparring.

_Which is decidedly missing today_, he thought to himself. While he had warned Bikky and Dee both to take it easy with the verbal abuse while Dee recuperated, he really didn't trust them to remember their promise. But then, the silence should be good right? Ah, when it comes to those two, silence, as well as noisy bickering, was just as apprehensive.

Hands still wet from the salad he was making, he dried his hands with a clean dishtowel and took off his headphones. He peered worriedly around the doorway, eyes searching. He found them both on the dining table and was surprised, and quite gratified, that Bikky _was _doing his homework and that Dee was actually helping him. A smile curved his lips at the sight. Dee was helping Bikky to cut out some pictures while the boy rapped instructions at him like a little general. Dee was holding up well with the slightly bossy tone Bikky was using and he could have sworn that a small smile was playing on Dee's face too.

Still smiling himself, he tugged his headphones back on and hummed under his breath. Dinner would be ready in just be a few minutes longer.

* * *

There was something strangely hypnotic in doing a mindless task like cutting paper, Dee mused. His long fingers wrapped around the bright green plastic handle of the scissors, he dutifully followed Bikky's harping instructions to "Cut out that stupid face!", "What the hell is that broad doing in there?!!" and his "Fine, fine, we'll put your picture in as well." He knew as well as Bikky that his insults were half-meant to bait him and he quite enjoyed not taking it. He knew that Bikky meant well and he appreciated it. He felt a brief pang at not being up to return the compliments but he reasoned that a couple weeks of rest would see him in fine form. Returning his attention back to the work spread out, he thought that Mrs. Gibson had given Bikky quite an interesting essay to work on. He was to do a picture collage telling about his family. As such, pictures were scattered all over the table with various bits cut out. He was amused, and privately flattered that most of the pictures were from around their 2 years or more together. There was that picture of him, Ryo and Bikky picnicking in the park one fine Sunday afternoon. It was one of the few moments when he and Bikky had enjoyed the day too much to spar.

The picture he was holding was of Bikky and him together. A little bit of the picture was unwanted and since it was too small for the scissors to be of use, he discarded it for the X-acto knife. Before he cut though, he placed a thick mat underneath. Ryo would kill him if he scarred the table. Black bangs fell forward to curtain his eyes as he bent closer, trying to get the angle right. The knife slid easily across the glossy paper, cutting deep into it with a slight snicking sound. His gaze strayed to the image of Bikky. His eyes were bright, full of laughter and mischievous prank. He smiled, recalling the ducks they had abused in the park that day. Ryo had tried to get them to stop but they had their own comeuppance when a particularly enraged duck took offense and chased them around the whole pond.

"Hey Dee!"

He looked up quickly, startled out of his reverie. "What?"

There was an incredulous look on the boy's face as he pointed at him. "Your finger you idiot!"

He looked down at the aforementioned digit and was surprised to see a thick line of scarlet wending its way down to his palm. He hadn't even realized he cut himself. The blood trickled down to fall on to the table in slow drops. He watched it in fascination before pulling himself out of his trance and smiled at Bikky. 

"Sorry kid. I'll go get a band-aid first."

* * *

To his annoyance, he was enjoying Dee's help and presence. It goes against his credo really, to like being with the man. _But then_, he sighed silently, _hang out too long together and you tend to tolerate anything. Still. . ._

He fervently prayed that it would not mean he'd end up being gay when he's older.

He sifted through his collection of pictures absent-mindedly. There was one of him and Ryo at an amusement park, him with a ferocious mock scowl on his face to assure the viewer that no, he was too much a grown up to enjoy kiddy rides. Another one showed the three of them together at that park. That day was fun. Especially the time with him, Dee and the duck. Ryo couldn't stop laughing, he recalled. He looked over at Dee, who was diligently cutting a picture of the two of them together with a knife, his brows furrowed with concentration. He watched in idle fascination, the knife gliding smoothly, so smoothly that it cut a straight line neatly across Dee's finger.

Who went on cutting, oblivious to the fact that blood was flowing.

"Hey Dee!" he yelped in surprise.

"What?"

"Your finger you idiot!"

Dee looked at his finger with the blood still flowing as though he never saw such a thing before. He looked totally fascinated and Bikky saw him pull himself out of it with a jerk, grey eyes wide and a bit startled.

"Sorry kid. I'll go get a band-aid first."

He watched Dee go to the bathroom with no small amount of worry. It was unlike Dee to be so spaced out like that, sick or not. Fingers trembling slightly, he picked up the picture Dee had been cutting and stared at it.

The picture showed him and Dee with their faces pressed close to the camera, faces pulled in comic grimaces. Blood was smeared all over Dee's face, making it look as though he was peering through a curtain of red haze.

Despite himself, he shivered.

________________________________________________________________________

_"Master, please," his disciple groveled at his feet, body trembling and weak hands clutching the hem of his robes in earnest supplication. Lank, greasy hair fell to obscure the man's shrunken face, a result of endless weeks of devotional rites that he himself had led. The whole chamber reeked of the last rites recently held and he inhaled the sweet-sharp smell of old blood, sweat and urine as though it was the fragrance of roses. Long lines of wispy smoke trailed upwards in the still air from tallow candles burning on shelves and available stands. The holy altar itself was dripping with a new coat of blood from their latest sacrifice and he could **feel **the blessing silently given by The One._

_"Master," the man whimpered again. Brought back to the practicalities of the moment, he shook himself out of his reverie and said gently,_

_"My faithful disciple.__ What do you need?"_

_His disciple groveled till he was practically kissing his stained hems and he felt a surge of joy at the absolute devotion of his disciple, one of a select few. The One would be pleased._

_"Please do not toy with me, Master," he gasped out. "You know what I need. I beg you! Please!"_

_Smiling, he bent down to stroke his hair in paternal affection. "Yes, I know. Your need is desperate, yes? And you have been a faithful follower. Most faithful. The One was most pleased with your last devotions."_

_The man groaned in religious thrall and threw himself down, abasing himself full-length on the stone floor. "I live only for you and Him!"_

_"Good," he smiled rapaciously. "Remember that and you'll never be for want. Receive His blessings," finally, he granted the wretch what he had been begging for. A small pill fell from his hand on to the floor. A skeletal hand snatched out in snake-like quickness to grab the pill and it was just as quickly swallowed._

_"Thank you Master, thank you." Again his robe hems were kissed, this time in fervent gratitude and he allowed it to go on a few moments longer before he twitched his robes out of the way._

_"Enough," he said, impatient now. "Though He was pleased with our offerings, He demands to know when the final one will be found. We have no time to lose. Gather everyone. It is time to begin our search again."_

_"As you command Master."___

_He spun around and his rapid passage stirred the golden flames of the candles, throwing dancing shadows on the walls that were grimed with age and slime. So many things to do, so little time._

________________________________________________________________________

~to be continued~

________________________________________________________________________

_A/N: Nyahahahaha! Who IS that mysterious cult leader? Was the blood-stained picture a premonition? Will Bikky be the next victim? Will Dee and Ryo get in each other's pants again before the end of this story? Find out soon! ^^_

_P.S: To any Yami no Matsuei fans, yes, that was a deliberate plugging of Matsushita's manga. What am I talking about? Devil's Trill naturally. ^^_


	5. Chapter 5:It Begins

_Yes, I know I promised I'd update fast. . . . ^___^;;;;;_

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CHAPTER 5: It Begins

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"Sir, Detective Maclean asked me to pass this along to you."

Berkley looked up and pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "And they are?"

"The background info on all active cults currently in New York. Detective Maclean pointed out that the first part focuses those which are specifically Satanic or Anti-Christian in nature and within a 10-mile radius of the murder sites," Ted concluded.

Berkley took the proffered file, an inch thick at least and murmured, "Well, he's nothing if not thorough. So where's our esteemed Detective and his partner then?"

Ted dipped his head and said, "Detective Laytner got a call from one of his regular informant and they're on their way to see him now. His informant said he might have something useful."

"Finally. What are you doing now?"

"I'm still searching through old records for any similar M.Os. No luck as yet though," Ted apologized.

"We can't have everything can we?" Berkley sighed. He was about to wave dismissal to Ted when his phone rang. Looking at the blinking light, he realized that the call was on his special line, i.e., the mayor. "Goddammit, does the man have a bug in my office or something?"

"Do you need anything else sir?" Ted asked with a faint smile.

"Can you go assassinate the mayor for me? No? Well continue on then. You know what to do if you come up with anything."

"Yes sir."

________________________________________________________________________

"Do you want anything Dee?"

"Hmm?" Dee turned from his absent contemplation of the sleeting scenery outside. "What did you say?"

Ryo sighed. "I asked if you want anything. Tea? Coffee? Sex?"

Dee blinked. "Coffee please."

They had been sitting in the little booth in a nondescript café just a few blocks from the precinct, waiting for his informant. The man, known only as Jack, had agreed to meet them there at 2.30. It was now 2.45. Jack was a regular informant of Dee, having used his services for the past two years. While Jack was your typical unsavory character, dabbling in drugs and crime, he was also a talented snitch. He was always careful to only open his mouth when he was sure he was above implication. By the police or by the people he sold information about.

And for the right price of course.

Ryo thanked the waitress with a smile and nudged Dee. "Your coffee."

"Oh, thanks." Dee barely touched the steaming brew and instead, fixed a light stare at his lover. "What?"

Ryo stared back at him for a full minute before he turned away with a sigh. "Nothing. And I'm sure if I asked you, you'd say it's nothing either."

"Well, that goes to show how well you know me right?"

"Yeah, an idiot in more ways than one."

"Hey, I resent that. I'm a handsome, sexy idiot."

Ryo snorted.

"Detectives."

The both of them jumped slightly in surprise. The man sitting before them had managed to slide in his seat without them noticing his coming and Ryo was uncomfortably aware of how remote their corner booth was.

"Jack, you're late," Dee stated, narrowing his slate grey eyes.

"And you look like shit. Your lover trying to starve you or something?" Jack retorted with a smirk.

Ryo frowned but before he could say anything, Dee beat him to it. "Mind your manners. What me and Ryo do together is nobody's business but our own. And you don't look so hot either."

It was true, Ryo noted with some surprise. Jack was a somewhat vague 'acquaintance' to him. They had only met a couple of times, Jack preferring to do his transactions with Dee only. Ryo remembered him as being a rotund sort of guy and pink-cheeked that added a certain ironic innocence to the hard glint in his eyes. He looked like a man who had vices and enjoyed them, making sure he dressed for the occasion. Now though, he was dressed in a nondescript jacket, patched at the elbows with a worn baseball cap, its color indeterminate, pulled low over his eyes. What little he could see of his face showed sunken cheeks and eyes roaming the café nervously despite his bravado attitude.

"Yeah, well," Jack muttered sullenly, "you try making a living on the streets nowadays and you get nervous too."

Dee sighed and leant back against the red leatherette. "Care to give us any tips? Leads?"

Jack played with the salt shaker on the table, his fingers trembling slightly. For a moment, Dee thought he would bolt form sheer nerves.

"Everyone's feeling a bit. . ." he hesitated, "edgy with these anti-Christ murders. They don't like it."

Ryo raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I wouldn't think they'd care one way or another," he said mildly.

At his words, Jack shot him a glare from beneath the brim of his cap. "Hey, we might be scumbags, and granted, there's a few motherfuckers out there, but no one likes to off little kids like that. That's just plain sick. Besides, it's focusing attentions on activities that are best left unnoticed by the authorities."

"You mean it's bad for business," Dee clarified. "It's that all you got? You want to convey condolences?"

"Hey man, I'm not jerking you off," Jack snapped. "Some of the. . .organisations that has business in those areas have tried to track down the shithead responsible. Teach him some lesson in manners and courtesy and all that. But even they came up with nothing. And they got better resources than the cops do when it comes to making people talk," he added unnecessarily. 

"And?" Dee sighed.

"Well, I don't make good money for being an informant for nothing. A few months before this shit went down, word got out on the streets that a new drug had hit town. Some kinda shit that makes LSD look like sugar dust."

Dee and Ryo exchanged worried glances. Drugs was nothing new in New York, being one of, if not _the _major criminal activity for most of the gangs here. But a new batch that rates higher than LSD. . .the both of them had their fair share of apprehending suspects high on the drug and it was never pretty. The drug could turn Bugs Bunny into some demon from hell with the hallucinations and those high on it tended to disregard such things as badges and guns.

"Which gang is responsible for bringing it in?" Ryo asked.

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "No one knows. Even I don't. I've heard rumours that you can't just buy 'em of a dealer. You gotta go through a specific channel and even then, you might get brushed off. Seems like not anyone can handle the effects of the drug. Those that can, tend to disappear."

"Those that don't?"

"They disappear too. Probably dead."

"What else?" Dee asked. There was a slight strain to his voice, nothing that was evident except to those who were close to him and Ryo shot him a look.

"The funny thing is, drug dealers, they like nice, big profits so you try to do as much business as possible, right?"

Jack waited for them to nod in affirmative before continuing. "The crazy thing about this dealer is that he appears to want a certain quota, that's it."

"What do you mean, 'quota'?"

"I found out that there were 12 people who managed to get a shot at the drug and not die. All 12 of them have vanished. And the drug went off the streets."

So that means the dealer wasn't looking for profit; he had something else in mind. Almost as if the drug was a sort of initiation to a secret society. Ryo voiced his thoughts out loud and Dee nodded silently. 12 of them. 13 if you counted the dealer, assuming he's working alone.

"What's the name of the drug?" Dee asked.

"A stupid one if you ask me. . .they call it Revelation."

________________________________________________________________________

". . . .we think this new drug might be a link. It fits together too perfectly with the murders to just be a coincidence," Ryo finished.

Jack had little else to offer them besides information on the drugs, but reflecting on it, Ryo decided that it was definitely better than nothing. The informant hadn't stayed on long enough for a social chat. After receiving the packet containing his pay, he had left without a backward glance. Dee had tried to get him to promise to find out more for them but the man insisted he wanted nothing more to do with the whole thing and had scampered off as fast as he could.

Returning from the meeting, they had reported directly to Rose and Ryo had just finished explaining to the Commissioner regarding the latest information. Dee had kept silent throughout the discussion, just sitting in his chair and staring pensively out the windows that framed Rose's desk.

The blond man nodded and passed a harried hand over his face. "Just what we need," he murmured. "More drug-crazed maniacs running around."

Both Ryo and Dee kept silent.

"Well Laytner? Care to share something with us?"

Dee stirred and blinked gray eyes bemusedly at his superior, as though only now recalling where he was. A frown was starting to gather on Rose's brow.

"My informant," Dee started, not bothering to reveal Jack's name as it was an accepted procedure among cops that only yourself knew about your informant. It helps keep them alive and useful. "I'm pretty sure he told us everything he knew, which is not much, but it's a useful clue anyway."

"Elaborate," Rose said flatly.

"He said that he knew nothing else about the new drug, save that only 12 people managed to get hold of it and lived. Even an idiot would realize the significance of it. Since he did not mentioned the name of any cults that he suspected might have a hand in it, it's almost a sure bet that this cult is new, or has been very good in hiding."

"So you think all the information we gathered on active cults in the area is useless then?" Rose surmised.

"Not useless," Dee corrected him. "Just. . .I think what we're looking for won't be in those files. So it's a start."

Rose snorted but looked accepting of Dee's theory. "I hope the mayor feels the same way. Anyway, good job, Detectives."

Taking the cue, the two of them rose from their chairs and offered the commissioner a brief salute. As they turned to leave though, Rose called out, halting them.

"By the way. Laytner?"

Dee half-turned, an expectant look on his face. "Yes sir?"

"You look like shit." The observation came as direct as a hammer blow and Ryo flinched, though Dee looked slightly amused by it. "While I fully expect the two of you to crack this case as soon as possible, try to not kill yourself in the process," Rose said wryly.

Dee smiled. "Thank you sir."

The door closed softly behind them and Rose leaned back in his chair, the leather squeaking in protest. It galled him to admit it but Dee's appearance was. . .disturbing. While he personally wished that the dark haired man would let down his guard one day concerning Ryo, nevertheless, it unnerved him to see the man so. . .worn out. Laytner and the adjective 'tired' didn't fit together.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger.

He was actually getting worried about Laytner. He must be getting old.

________________________________________________________________________

They actually made it back home in time for Ryo to cook dinner and to have it with Bikky. The boy cheerfully recited to them his day, chattering on about school (it sucked) and Carol (the boy was definitely head over heels. He just doesn't realize it yet). Ryo listened, smiled, laughed at the appropriate places and tried to stop the worry from showing on his face. He well knew that Bikky's bright chatter was intended to cheer Dee, or at least, goad him into some teasing but the only response they had gotten from the man was a vague smile.

He barely touched his dinner; taking a few forkfuls and the rest he pushed aimlessly around his plate. When Ryo tried to coax him into eating some more, he just shook his head, smiled, and said he was done eating. Sighing, Ryo took up his own plate and Dee's. Dee pushed his chair back and offered to help with the dishes but Bikky jumped up then.

"It's okay," the boy quickly spoke up. "I'll do it Dee. You just go and. . .rest," making vague, shooing motions towards the living room.

Though surprised, Dee just smiled faintly and obediently went to the living room and sat himself down on the armchair facing the huge windows of the apartment. The night outside was a featureless black punched with neon glows, made barely visible by the pouring rain.

Ryo and Bikky cleared the table quickly, with little fuss. Later, as they stood side by side washing and drying the dishes, Bikky tried to ask the question he was reluctant to voice out.

"Ryo. . ." he started hesitantly. "Is Dee. . .is he okay?" the last few words coming out in a rush. After two years of acted rivalry and intolerance, it was kind of awkward for him to be in this caring role.

"I don't know," Ryo sighed, his hands stilled in the soapy water, the dishes forgotten for the moment. "His fever's gone and the migraines have stopped at least. . ."

"There's something else though," Bikky finished for him.

He smiled tiredly and flicked a soapsud on the boy's nose. "Very perceptive of you," he teased gently.

Bikky rolled his eyes and wiped away the bubbles with the dishtowel he was using. "You have to be blind to not see there's something bothering him. Does it have anything to do with the case?"

"I don't know," Ryo tried to not let out his frustrations on the dishes. "I'm not even sure if there _is something wrong. Most of the time he just seems. . . ."_

"Distracted?"

"Yeah. Distracted."

The rest of the dishes were cleaned and dried in silence, the only sound filling the kitchen was the running water and the clink of porcelain and glass. From the direction of the living room was also only silence, Dee apparently not feeling up to the television as usual.

As Ryo was about to leave the kitchen, Bikky stopped him with a small hand. He looked down, startled to realize that Bikky was rapidly approaching his height. The boy was nor nearly reaching his shoulders. Time had passed by so swiftly.

"What is it?" he smiled.

Bikky opened his mouth, and closed it, hesitant. As Ryo stood there, patiently waiting for him, he finally blurted it out. "You don't have to handle it yourself. I mean, I'll. . .look out for him too. . .it's the least I can do," he finished, and blushed a faint pink.

Taking his charge in his arms, he hugged the boy tightly and was given a fierce hug in return.

"Thank you," he murmured.

* * *

He had fallen asleep easily enough, the rain beating a steady tattoo against the glass, morphing the light that filtered in through the cloth blinds a hazy, ethereal silver glow that filled the room with a soft glow. Beside him, Ryo breathed deep and slow, lost in slumber of his own, his body pressed closed against his, a warmer and far more comfortable shield than the blankets.

He wasn't sure if he was dreaming.

There were. . .lights. . .images. . .figures beckoning to him.

He tried to make sense of it all but the more he chased, the farther away they ran from him until all he had left was empty black. The minute he stopped chasing though, they came back; soft, inviting whispers that tantalized his mind like a gentle succubus, luring him on with promises.

It never crossed his mind whether what they promised him was something he wanted in the first place.

As the dancing lights, sounds and images drew closer and closer, he found himself submerged in a whirling vertigo, his senses upended and his awareness slipping away like so many sands.

He dreamt.

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~to be continued~

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	6. Chapter 6:My Home Is My Sanctity

_A/N: minna. . .thank you so much for the praises you gave. I'm so sorry that I took so long to update. . .call it writer's block! Oh yeah, the 'net lab at my department is down till I don't know when so I may only be able to update during the weekends! Bear with me, please! ^^_

_Wow, two updates in two weeks. . .I must be having a fever. ^__^;;;_

**_Elizabeth_********_linares_****_: _**_Thanks so much for wanting to read more of my story. Hope you keep on  enjoying  it!_

**_Blood Angel: _**_I DID update! Look! Update! *whimpers*_

**_Skippy: _**_I had a classmate whom we called Skippy. She was the small, cute type of girl. . .where am I going with this? I have no idea. _

**_Jexia_****_: _**_Thanks, I thought it'd be nice to have __Berkley__ and Bikky not portrayed as major a**holes all the time. After all, if Bikky really loves Ryo, he would understand. Besides, __Dee__ is a good guy. A bit oversexed. . .but good anyways! ^^_

**_Andie_****_: _**_I think, if you get into my head, you'd realize that I actually HAVE NO IDEA where this story is going to and you might be tempted to whack me. XD_

**_Ita-chan_****_: _**_Glad I could keep you on the edge of your seat. No worries, a lemon will come up soon! I think. . .hmm. . .*scratches head*_

**_Quatorze_****_: _**_Tell me, is this chapter's version of __Berkley__ making you weak too? Ohohoho! You're right! Down with all fics that sisssifies our gay detectives! Hahah! Kidding._

**_Crystal_****_: _**_Your wish is my command_

**_Sesshoumaru_****_ lover: _**_Yay__! New reader! Hello!_

_Also, I just want to say "gomenesai" to the people who reviewed yet I failed to acknowledged. It's just that by the time I'm uploading FAKE, I get so rushed that I barely have the time to. But believe me, your reviews keep me going!_

_Warning: Blood._

_Disclaimer: As usual, really._

CHAPTER 6: My Home Is My Sanctity

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As a cop, you learn the habit of sleeping light, always keeping wary even in the sanctity of your home. Because, as a cop, you know what few people don't; there is no such thing as sanctity. The coziest home, secured with the best that modern technology can offer, is not infallible. There's always something or someone that can turn a cheerful haven into a pit of nightmare. It's just a matter of luck actually. And Fate, if you're into that kind of thing.

Ryo Maclean is a good cop. No, better than that. He is one of the best cop to ever work in the 27th Precinct. He was born with the instincts of a true-blue cop and had the brains to go with it. Paired with a partner that was as good as him, in his own slightly brash and enthusiastic way, only served to hone and sharpen his skill.

That night, with the rain beating down in a barely heard murmur over their apartment building, as he slept, Ryo knew something was wrong. He couldn't really say _how or __why he knew something was wrong. He just did. Maybe it was his instinct kicking in. Maybe it's because the ties of love that bound him and his partner ran deeper than surface impressions. Whatever it was, __something warned him that all was not right with the world, the warning ringing like a clarion in the dreamless sleep he was lost in._

Slowly, like a swimmer rising to the surface, he let awareness pull him back, his usual first reaction of reaching for his revolver stopped by the fact that what he felt was not danger. Rather, it was just a feeling of complete and utter. . . ._wrongness_ and pure dread. 

He was alone in the bed.

Turning over to the side Dee usually slept, he was met with rumpled sheets, now cool to the touch. For whatever reason Dee got up, he had done so for quite some time it seemed. Ryo didn't like waking up alone. For so long now, the first thing he saw when his eyes opened was black hair mussed by sleep and sleepy gray eyes. Not seeing that unnerved him for some reason tonight. Blinking, he saw that the digital clock on the bedside table read 3.32 am. He strained his ears but could not make out any sound at all from the attached bathroom or from outside the bedroom.

"Dee?" His voice sounded lost, swallowed by the gloom, the silence a mocking sound.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled on a pair of flannel pants, forgoing his t-shirt. Barefoot, he padded out to the living room and the kitchen. No sign of Dee anywhere. The bathroom light wasn't on so he didn't think Dee was inside it. Maybe he couldn't sleep and had gone out for a cigarette? It wasn't like Dee to just leave like that. He knew Ryo would be worried to find him gone and would usually wake him up to tell him not to. Besides, his coat was still hanging in the coat closet by the front door.

He went back inside their bedroom and switched on the light. Shadows chased away, everything looked normal and calm, hardly the setting for the worry that pulled him from sleep. As he gave the room a cursory glance, he noticed that the bathroom door was slightly ajar. The interior beyond was dark though, especially against the bedroom light. Ryo really didn't think Dee would be in it; after all, the lights aren't on. Still, it wouldn't hurt to check.

Sighing, he pushed the door open and it swung open on silent hinges. After the brightness, his eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark so he fumbled for the light switch.

And blood colored his world.

"Dee!"

* * *

Ryo had seen some pretty gruesome sights in his line of work. Victims of gunshot wounds with blood spilling hot from skin torn open, kids just in their teens brutally raped or beaten, he had seen many things. After a while, he learned to accept it for if he didn't, he would have gone insane. He learned to detach himself from the moment to do his job. So he could catch the bastards responsible and maybe, avenge the victims. But when he was alone at night, with no one to talk to, each one of those hurt, maimed or bruised, came back to haunt him. Only another cop could fully understand the weight that lay heavily on his heart and help lighten them. Dee helped him, as he helped Dee.

So doesn't it seem to be unnaturally wrong to find his Dee the one hurt?

The bathroom was a mix of creamy blue and white; a pale canvas for the blood that pooled innocently on the tiled floor. And Dee sat in the middle of it.

For a long moment, Ryo could only stare in horror, because he couldn't, wouldn't believe his eyes. He gripped the doorjamb tightly and fought against the rising hysteria that threatened to overwhelm him. A slight movement from Dee jarred him from his shock and ignoring the puddle of blood, he sank down to his knees, trying to think of what to do.

Dee was still conscious fortunately, but his eyes were blank, staring straight through him without recognition. In his hands, he held a razor; one that dripped blood. His left wrist held a jagged cut that still bled sullenly, slowly adding to the spreading pool.

"Dee," Ryo started, his voice hoarse. "What. . .what happened?"

Dee ignored him and instead, lifted the blade and ran it over his wound, tearing it open further.

"Dee! No! Stop it!" Ryo cried out. He grabbed Dee's hand and snatched the razor away, flinging it into the bathtub. Taking the wounded hand, he held it up to stop the bleeding and fumbled for the first aid kit underneath the sink.

"No," Dee mumbled. With weak movements, he tried to pry his hands away but Ryo held strong. "Have to. . . . .he. . .have. ."

Ryo took the roll of gauze and started to wound it tight over the cut. "It's okay Dee," he said gently, trying to keep his voice firm and steady. "You're with me, remember?"

"He said. . ." Dee shook his head faintly and tugged his hand absently. "Said I have to. . ."

The blank eyes, the detached voice. . . .Ryo realized with horror that Dee wasn't really awake. He didn't even realize what he was doing to himself. 

"Ryo? What's wr—oh my God! What happened to Dee?" It was Bikky, the boy standing in the doorway in his t-shirt and shorts, staring at them in shock. Seeing his charge, Ryo quickly got himself together.

"Bikky, call an ambulance! Hurry!"

For a moment, Bikky stood there, still transfixed by the sight but at another snapped instruction from Ryo, he quickly ran to the phone. Ryo went back to bandaging Dee's wound and tucked the ends of the gauze tight. Already it was becoming rapidly soaked.

"Come on, Dee," Ryo said gently, the shock still clouding his mind and actually helping him deal with the situation. Without a doubt, he knew he'd break down soon but he couldn't afford it now. "Let's get you out of here, okay?"

As he tugged Dee to his feet, Dee seemed to rouse himself and looked straight at him, the cloud lifting from his eyes.

"Ryo," he said clearly and a second later, he slumped unconscious in Ryo's arms.

"Dee? Dee! Please! Wake up!"

________________________________________________________________________

"Maclean?"

That voice jarred him from the haze he had drowned under and tore the white veils from his eyes. Looking up, he saw that Rose was standing before him, concern radiating from his eyes.

"Sir," he said dully. He realized he was still sitting in one of the hard, plastic chairs that littered the hospital's waiting room. He must have been sitting here for hours. His back was killing him.

"A friend of mine told me that one of my officers was admitted," Rose said and sat down beside him gingerly. The plastic creaked under his weight as he shifted to look at Ryo.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently. "What happened? My friend couldn't really tell me what's going on."

His flannel pants were soaked with blood, a distant part of his mind noticed. When the ambulance came, he had snagged a jacket to wear over it, not wanting to leave Dee alone. "Dee. . .was hurt," amazing, how his voice could still function. He wasn't sure if anything else would. "Where's Bikky?"

"Your charge?" Rose asked and he nodded. "I saw him in the cafeteria earlier with a girl Shall I get them?"

He shook his head numbly. "No, it's okay. . .don't really feel up to it. . ."

"What happened Ryo?" Rose asked again, more firmly this time. "I know I haven't exactly endeared myself to you or Laytner but the both of you are still my detectives. Tell me what's wrong? I may be able to help."

Ryo blinked at the caring that statement showed, uncertain whether he heard it correct or it just confirmed that he had dropped in an alternate universe. Really, the night was giving him all sorts of surprises. Next thing you know, JJ would be here proclaiming his undying love for him instead.

"I'm not sure you can help me with it sir," Ryo replied, the politeness ingrained in him since birth coming automatically. It seems even when disaster strikes, he'll still be polite. Imagine that.

"Please, just te-"

"He tried to kill himself."

* * *

Rose blinked. And stared. And gaped.

"Kill. . .himself?" he asked faintly. "Are you sure?"

"Not really," Ryo nodded seriously. "But when a person is sitting in a pool of blood and is holding a razor with his wrist slashed, you tend to arrive at that conclusion."

It was kinda funny seeing Rose at a loss like that. His normally confident expression of perfect control was lost, and he shut and open his mouth a few times as though wanting to sat something but not quite sure what. Even his glasses looked confused.

"Why on earth would Laytner try to kill himself?" His tone was pure bewilderment. Even in his dislike for the man, he knew Dee Laytner as a tough, no-nonsense sort of cop with good instincts, a good heart and the occasional bouts of gentleness revealed that he fervently tried to bury under layers of bluster. Wow, the shock must have really gotten to him. He had never thought so highly of Laytner in one sentence.

"Oh, he wasn't really trying to kill himself," Ryo said empathically.

"He wasn't? But you said. ." Now he was just plain lost.

"Well, yeah, but from the way he acted, it was more as if he was sleepwalking. Like he wasn't aware of what he was doing." Ryo plucked absently at a crusted fold in his pants. He felt kind of hungry.

"Sleepwalking?" Rose frowned.

"Yeah. He said something about somebody telling him he has to do it."

Rose did the whole open/shut mouth thing and finally threw his hands up in the air. "I give up. Has the doctor finished with him yet?"

"No."

Rose gave him a long look. "C'mon," he said then and he was gentle about it. "Let's get you something clean to wear. You're probably hungry too aren't you?"

Ryo nodded and with the commissioner's hand guiding his elbow, he stood up slowly, feeling muscles and joints protest after not moving so long. Alarmingly, the room started spinning, the green and white walls swimming around and the floor tilting crazily beneath his feet.

"You know, I'm not feeling so good," Ryo said faintly. "Must be something I ate last night."

Rose was saying something. I think. Can't really be sure. A dim voice came from far away and he strained his ears to hear it. 

". . . you're in shock. . . .have. . .doctor. . ."

He passed out.

________________________________________________________________________

"Mr. Maclean?"

"Yes?" Ryo swung his legs over the side of the bed they had laid him on and looked expectantly at the doctor. The name tag said Dr. Wyle.

"Are you feeling better?" the doctor asked, a look of sympathy on his face.

Ryo flushed and waved the concern aside. "I'm fine. I'm sorry for being such a bother." He had in fact, collapsed from the strain and shock and had woken up to find himself in a hospital bed in clean clothes. Bikky and Cal, who sat by his bedside told him that Rose had helped find the clean clothes and that the man had gone to see what he could do to help about Dee. Ryo winced slightly at that. If Dee did try to hurt himself. . . .IA might be called in, to evaluate whether he was fit for work or not. . .

He couldn't really think about _why _Dee would want to hurt himself.

He wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Mr. Maclean," the doctor went on, amusement plain in his voice. "this is a hospital. We're _supposed _to take care of you. Now, I came here to tell you that we have your partner stabilized. Are you ready to see him?"

"Yes," he said hurriedly. "He's okay right?"

"He will be," Dr. Wyle assured him as he followed the doctor down a long corridor, Bikky, Cal and Rose, who had popped out of nowhere, following behind him. They stopped outside room 354, one of the rooms that had clear, glass covered walls so that the nurses from the nurse station could monitor the patients. Peering in past the reflections, he could see dark hair, ruffled and laying still.

"One visitor at a time though," Dr. Wyle cautioned him. "He has stabilized but we're not going to take any risks. Just 10 minutes for you and one more after. Alright?"

Ryo nodded, though the words barely penetrated him. All he could see was Dee. Stepping inside the dimly lit room, he made his way slowly to the still, prone figure lying under the blankets and sat down cautiously on a chair by the bedside. Dee didn't even stir. Monitors beeped and IV lines were attached to his pale arms, the left with its wrtist now bandaged neatly.

He swallowed hard, tearing his eyes away from the gauze that gleamed innocently in the dark.

"Dee," he said softly, brushing back soft bangs from sleeping eyes. "What happened? Can't you tell me?"

Silence only.

________________________________________________________________________

The problem with being one of the most modern countries in the world is that everything else before it is, isn't.

Ted gave a frustrated sigh and huffed back the bangs that kept falling in his eyes. He had been stuck here, in the station's record room for the past few days trying to wade through the old case files for the same M.O to the Anti-Christ case. The trouble was that all the case files before the last ten years had yet to be computerized. Excuses kept being given; too little time, too little budget, too little everything.

"I swear, if someone actually looked through this thing, we'll probably find out what happened to Elvis," Ted grumbled. He had the right to be grumpy. He had spent the days in a dark, windowless room with only himself, and boxes upon boxes of dog-eared files for company. Oh that, and the dust.

Sighing again, wishing for better light than the bare, naked bulb that hung pendulously above, Ted pulled out a seemingly random file from the stack near his feet and flipped through it almost automatically. The days of dead ends were taking their toll on him. Already he wished he could just take the whole goddamn lot and burn them in an incinerator. Not just for the sheer frustration, but for the utter horror and gruesomeness that lies innocently between typed lines. If he had any doubts about how ugly humanity could get, the files had cleared it all up.

Glossy photographs were attached to the file, relatively thin in comparison. It wasn't a serial case. It was just an all-out thing involving lots of cops, lots of ammunition and lots of murdered kids. Ted snorted. He had pulled out the wrong file. The box he had taken was supposed to contain only serial killer cases. This had obviously gotten in there by mistake.

Still, a picture caught his eye before he could slam the file close in disgust. A little boy sprawled awkwardly on an altar it looked like. Judging by the sprawling, his arms and legs were broken. Stomach churning, Ted fought to keep his coffee down and flipped past to another picture. He had this feeling. . . 

The next picture only consolidated the nausea, and heightened the feeling that he was on to something here. He flipped to another picture, and another picture, and another. . .

Swallowing hard, he then read the file from front to back. And again.

"Hey Ted?"

With a startled yelp, he twisted around in his chair, the file slipping from his hands, paper fluttering free and pooling on the concrete floor.

"Sorry to startle you like that man," Drake apologized.

"It's okay," Ted waved aside the apology and bent down to pick up the scattered papers. Drake stepped in the room and bent down to help him also.

"No!" Ted snapped. "I got it!"

Drake blinked at him in surprise and slowly stood up. ""Kay, no need to get upset. I think you've been spending too much time here. You're getting cranky as a bear."

"I'm sorry," Ted apologized somewhat distractedly. "I just. . .had these in an order. . don't want to lose my place," he finished with a weak laugh. "Anyway, you wanted something?"

Drake looked uncomfortable at the reminder and he shuffled his feet, hesitation on his face. "Yeah, we got a call from Rose just now."

"Oh? What's up?" Ted raised an eyebrow in question and stacked back the papers in the correct order, studiously obscuring the photographs from Drake's view. He wasn't ready yet for the others to know. Not until he confirmed it.

"It's Dee. He's in the hospital," Drake said miserably.

"What's wrong?" Ted asked sharply. "Did something happened?"

"He. . . hetriedtokillhimself," Drake blurted out. He was totally unprepared for Ted's reaction. There was the initial, expected shock crossing his face. But then, the shock was replaced with something undefinable and he shot to his feet, still clutching the file.

"Oh shit!" he shouted, and ran out of the room.

Bewildered, Drake followed him.

________________________________________________________________________

~to be continued~

________________________________________________________________________

_A/N: You like? You no like? You what think? Ted find what? English no good. Many many typing. Brain go bye-bye. Review but please!_


	7. Chapter 7:If You Can't Remember, It Does...

_*wrings hands* Ah, gomenesai, everyone! *wailing* Yes! I know I PROMISED to update faster but. . . .blergh! Things. . .happened. . .things like me getting really caught up in **my other fic which is a Yami no Matsuei story called "End of the Worlds" coz it's getting to a really good part and yes, it ****is a blatant, major HINT for you to go and read it and praise my genius more and more so please forgive me. . .*sniff*. . .forgiven??? By the way, the sentences underlined and bold in this paragraph are actually subliminal messages designed to influence your subconscious to go and read my other stories.**_

_But I understand if you don't read Yami no Matsuei. . . .XD_

__

_Note 1: To the readers, please be aware that this is my first time writing a police story. I have had absolutely no experience with the genre since fantasy is more of my forte. So any police procedure thingy, policies, etc, are all the product of my mind, culled and gleaned together from whatever police shows I watched and __what you read is the end result. Eh, let's all just pretend that it's correct, ne? ^__^;;;_

_Note 2: Er. . . .I also took the liberty of assuming that __Dee__ is 26 years old. 'Coz I don't know his real age and I have no time to search. Heh._

**_Skippy, Jay, Blue Sakura, Ashura, Kiarene, Akurei, a_a2002, DK Adeena: __Thanks very much ^__^_**

**_Jexia_****_: _**_Look! More breadcrumbs!_

**_Sherry Marie: __It's always a pleasure to give in to the demands of "I want more!"_**

**_Quatorze_****_: _**_Mmm__, I get kinda finicky too about the stories that I wanna read. I sincerely hope this story will continue to enthrall you_

**_Natascha_****_: _**_Wow, thank you! Sorry it took me so long to update but here ya go ^__^_

**_Ians_Koibito_****_: _**_*is shaking her computer and screaming* Look! Look! It's an Update! Oh my god! I updated! *peers out of her window* Oh my god! I can see pigs flying!!! *grins*_

_Warning: Erm. . . .stuff. Another cliffhanger but there you go. What would life be without one?_

_Disclaimer: I claim no responsibility. None. It's not my fault._

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

**                                                               Chapter 7**

**                                           If You Can't Remember, It Doesn't Count**

**                                                   * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

Consciousness came as a slow morphing of the void behind his eyelids.

As he felt himself returning slowly to awareness, he was aware of feeling terribly heavy, as though weighted down and his movement felt constricted.

Dee didn't like the feeling. He was a man who valued personal freedom above all else. To be weighted down like this, to not be able to move freely, chafed him like a steel handcuff must have chaffed those countless criminals he himself had deprived of personal freedom. He didn't like having the same feeling visited back upon him.

. . . . . ._shit_. . . .was his rather eloquent testament to what he was currently feeling. A headache was pounding merrily away somewhere at the back of his head, on top of the general feeling of wretchedness that seeped into every pore of him.

_Did I drink too much last night? He wondered. He didn't recall going to a bar, nor did he recall diving into the liquor collection he and Ryo kept at home. Besides, he doubted Ryo would have let him in the first place. The man did not like drinking when Bikky was in the house. _So if it's not a hangover, then what?__

He decided to chance opening his eyes and face the consequences of whatever happened head-on. _I'm a man, hear me roar_, he thought wryly.

Even his eyelids felt a thousand pounds heavier. Nevertheless, he persisted, forcing gummed eyelids open and blinking back tears as a light, though dim, pierced his vision. Everything was sort of blurry, faint fuzzy edges to the outlines. Dee felt a frown creasing his forehead. 

A movement to his side alerted him. Turning his head slightly, he saw a light, sandy brown head resting on the mattress just by his elbow. Two more people were standing by the foot of his bed, talking in soft whispers. The light brown hair he was immediately aware of being Ryo. It was just that sort of thing, you know. The people by his foot though. . .

He squinted, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes and frowned harder.

"Commissioner?" he called out in a puzzled croak. "What are you doing in our bedroom? Don't you think you're taking it too far?"

The fine blond hair whipped back as Rose turned around in sharp surprise. For a minute there, Dee could have sworn that relief crossed the commissioner's face before it was quickly replaced by the customary slight smirk he wore around Dee.

"Detective," he said by way of greeting. "Nice to see you finally joining us. And no, we're not in your bedroom."

"We're not?" Dee asked faintly. He shook his head and instantly regretted it. The shaking had increased his headache by a hundred decibels at least. When the world finally ceased spinning against the natural order, Dee took a good look at his surroundings.

Bare, institutional white walls. Drab blinds covering the windows. A glass-fronted wall opposite his bed which had a straight view to a counter manned by a woman in a white uniform. Beeping machines by his side. Tubes poking into his arms. Really ugly white gown he was currently wearing.

"I'm in the hospital?" Dee ventured. He still sounded like Kermit the Frog.

"Yes, Detective Laytner," a doctor by the looks of it spoke up. It was the other guy who was talking to Rose earlier. "My name is Dr. Wyle. I'm your attending doctor for now."

"Did my fever came back last night or something? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I was sleeping in my own bed last night."

Rose and Dr. Wyle exchanged glances. One was troubled while the other was speculative.

"You didn't remember anything at all from last night?" Dr. Wyle said delicately.

"Well I wouldn't be saying so if I did would I?" Dee was starting to feel a bit crabby. Here he was, in a hospital, in a godawful gown, a headache pounding his poor head, his throat a parched desert and his doctor wanted to play 20 Questions with him.

"Behave yourself Laytner," Rose said mildly and proved that the world had gone down the metaphorical rabbit hole when he went to his side and picked up the water jug on the bedside table. He poured some water into a plastic cup and thanks to a very surprised and bewildered Dee, managed to help him lift his head a little and drank down the entire contents of the cup.

"Slowly now," he murmured as Dee choked slightly on the cool water. "That's it."

Dee was still in shock as Rose helped him lie back down, smoothed his blankets and took an empty chair by his side.

"What on earth is going on?" Dee declared and accidentally jostled the still sleeping Ryo. "Oops, sorry babe. You okay?"

Sleepy brown eyes stared at him for a full ten seconds in total incomprehensibility before realization sank in. Dee couldn't help the little yelp of surprise as Ryo shot straight up and immediately engulfed him in a tight hug.

"Oh my God! You're awake! Finally! Do you realize how worried I was? And Bikky! And Cal! Everyone! You idiot!"

Dee blinked. Rose politely repressed a snicker. Dr. Wyle smiled.

"Er. . .sorry?" he offered and patted Ryo's back. At the movement, a stinging pain laced through his wrist and Dee winced. "Ow. . that hurts."

"Oh, sorry," Ryp blushed and quickly released him, opting instead to sit back down. Dee meanwhile, was staring apprehensively at his bandaged left wrist.

"Ryo," he said slowly. "What happened last night?" He was still staring at the bandages.

At this, Ryo fidgeted uncomfortably and shot the doctor and Rose a nervous look. Each man shrugged slightly and kept silent. _It's your call_, their looks said.

"You don't remember?" Ryo asked softly.

Dee was really starting to get crabby now. "That's what I've been saying over and over. I don't. Now tell me what happened."

When Ryo spoke next, it was in a quiet voice that hinted at extreme self-control, as though to speak in a louder voice would mean him totally losing whatever composure he had. So in a vaguely monologue voice, Ryo told him what happened.

"It was around three in the morning. I woke up suddenly and you were gone. I got worried so I started looking for you. I thought you had gone down to the store to get a cigarette but your coat was still hanging. You weren't anywhere in the apartment. The last place I searched for you was our bathroom and. . ."

"And what?" Dee asked impatiently. He tired to hide the faint stirrings of unease that had started to roil in his stomach. At the back of his mind, he seemed to recall a voice. . .a shard of. . . .memory?

"I found you on the floor. Sitting in a pool of your own blood. You slashed your wrist." Ryo's voice was hammered flat.

It took a while for that surprising revelation to sink in and Dee stared at Ryo for a long, silent minute.

"That is not a funny joke Ryo," Dee said faintly.

"It's not," Ryo shook his head as tears glistened in his eyes. "Bikky found us when I was trying to stop the bleeding and he called the ambulance."

Without bothering to insist that Ryo ceased joking, Dee raised his hand and before anyone could stop him, tore the bandages open. There was only so far you could take a joke before it became tasteless and crude after all.

A long, welted line, purplish with clotted blood that ran the span of his wrist. Neat stitches of black thread closed the gaping wound tightly, leaving the impression that his hand had been attached to his arm, rather than the perfect whole it was yesterday afternoon. It was throbbing as he looked at it and even stung a little when he prodded it with a disbelieving finger.

"So it wasn't a joke?" his voice sounded pitifully thin and lost suddenly.

"No," Ryo answered him, biting his lip.

"It really happened?"

". . . .yes. ."

"I tried to kill myself?"

A long silence greeted him when he asked that and Dee looked up, a wild look in his eyes. "Did I?" he demanded.

"We were hoping you could tell us instead Laytner," Rose answered him gently. "I know you and I know that you're not that kind of person," he gestured at the stitched wrist. "But. . .what happened?"

Dee shifted blank grey eyes back to the livid wound that still refused to go away despite how many times he blinked and wished it to. A distant corner of his mind wondered if he clicked his heels together three times he would wake up and this would all be a bad dream.

"Detective?"

Dee gave a faint shake of the head and cradled his left hand close to him. 

Bewildered, Dee answered him. "I don't remember."

                                                 *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

Ted paced the hallway nervously, his shoes clicking against the polished, tiled floor in an agitated staccato. Once in a while, he would swat the thick file he was holding against his thigh absently while checking his watch every 2 minutes. It was already late evening and he had been waiting for the Commissioner for nearly half an hour. Drake had come by with the boggling news of Dee's apparent attempted suicide early this morning but he had only managed to swing by the hospital just now.

He had had errands to run first.

Ted swore softly under his breath and finally slumped into a chair. Rose had been at the hospital the whole day, accompanying Ryo while Dee was subjected to a battery of tests. He himself had called the commissioner during lunch, asking for his permission to look through some classified files. What he found was what made him pace the hallway earlier. God, he hated being the bearer of bad news.

"Detective?" Rose's strong, deep timbre cut through his musings and Ted looked up in surprise. So lost was he in his reflections that he had failed to notice the man coming up to him.

"Sir." Ted nodded and stood up hurriedly. "How's Laytner doing sir?"

Rose sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in a tired gesture. His hair was starting to look disheveled, a novel occurrence, and Ted had to bit back a smile at how more humanly approachable Rose was like that. He wondered if Rose realized.

"Other than the obvious, Laytner is doing fine."

"Did he. . ." Ted hesitated. "Did he really try to kill himself?"

Rose gave a bare shrug. "We don't know. He said he couldn't remember what happened last night. The doctor doesn't think he's faking it but can't say for sure what's wrong anyway. . ."

"Are you going to call in Internal Affairs sir?"

"I have to think about it," Rose took off his glasses and shoved them in the breast pocket of his suit irritably. "I don't like involving IA with my boys. We may have to do a psych evaluation with the department's psychiatrist first. We'll take it from there."

Ted nodded silently.

"You called earlier wanting my permission to look through classified files. You have a lead on the case?"

Ted hesitated again and finally, nodded. "I found something in one of the old case files I was looking through, the ones that haven't been computerized yet and. . ."

"And what Detective?" Rose said impatiently. "As much as I like your company, I'm pretty tired. Get to the point."

Ted sighed and offered his boss an apologetic look. "I think we have to sit down somewhere private for this discussion sir."

Rose stared at him, taking in the all too evident seriousness and swore inelegantly. "Can't it wait?" though there was very little hope in his words.

"I don't think we have time to wait sir," Ted said gravely.

Rose's mouth was a pinched line and his eyes had darkened. He looked suddenly older under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital and Ted felt a twinge of guilt for adding on to the stress that marked the commissioner's face.

"Very well. Follow me."

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

'Dumbfounded' was an understatement. 'Shocked' was still too mild. 'Blown over' didn't quite have the ring he was looking for. 'Stunned' still didn't quite cut it.

"Well fuck me to kingdom come," Rose managed and that seemed pretty accurate to what he was feeling.

Ted gave him a commiserating smile. "I know how you feel sir."

". . . . .and he hasn't been caught?"

"No sir."

". . . . shit."

"I can't put it more elegantly than that sir."

". . . . . .of all the flying fuck to hit the fan, this shit has to come down on _us_?!"

". . . . .er. . ."

"Never mind, don't answer that," Rose threw his hands up in disgust, nearly sending the thick file flying and with amazing dexterity, Ted caught it with a nimble jump. "Oh, sorry Detective."

"I understand sir."

Both Rose and Ted sank into their seats a little bit lower, misery and confusion having found company. From the corner of his eye, Ted gave the commissioner another once over. He had been doing that a lot recently.

Rose had taken the new information as well as he did, though that really didn't surprise Ted in the least. After all, Rose wasn't the kind of man to go to pieces at the least provocation. He was the kind of man who took setbacks and blows in his stride, evaluate his options coolly and do what was needed. Privately, Ted suspected that Rose did the 'falling to pieces' bit in the sanctity of his own home. No one could be that cool after all. But still, Rose seemed to be losing some of that cool now. Not that he blamed the man. 

"Are you sure about this Ted?"

Ted was startled out of his musings by the commissioner's casual use of his name. Rose had never done that before with him. They had always been on a 'Detective' and 'Sir'-name basis.

"Yes, I'm positive. . .sir," he finished awkwardly.

"Well. . . . . .fuck." Rose slumped lower and rubbed his hands tiredly over his face. He had barely gotten any sleep last night thanks to the mayor whining in his ear, only to be woken up at 5 a.m. to be told that one of his detectives may or may not have tried to kill himself, was stuck in the hospital from morning to night with no rest whatsoever and now. . .now _this_.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck."

Ted was starting to reconsider his earlier assessment of the commissioner's coping ability.

"What do we do now sir?"

Rose sighed and stood up, Ted quickly following suit. Taking out his glasses and perching them back on his nose, Rose took the file and smiled wearily at Ted.

"I want you to go home, get some rest and come back here with me tomorrow morning," Rose instructed him. "Don't talk to anyone about this yet. I'm going to sleep on it myself and tomorrow we'll have a talk with Maclean since he is one of the officers in charge. I _should have some ideas by tomorrow on what to do."_

"And if you don't sir?" Ted asked softly.

For a long moment, they stared at each other silently, for once, the barriers between a superior officer and his detective dropped. They both knew the implications of what the file contained. It could very well mean dragging the entire station into something that had first only been a simple serial killing into something much worse.

"If I don't Ted. . . ." again using the familiarity, Rose went on hesitantly, "if I don't. . .I don't know," he admitted painfully.

Ted smiled crookedly and offered Rose his coat. "C'mon sir, I'll buy you a cup of coffee first. I'm sure we could use a break."

Rose sighed. "We all could use a break." Nevertheless, he smiled and the both of them walked out companiably together. "And you can call me Berkley."

"Okay. . .Berkley. . .feels weird though."

"You'll get better with practice."

"I sure hope so."

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

**                                                             to be continued**

**                                                  * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

_A/N: Can it be??? Is Ted actually getting it on with Rose? Will sparks fly between the two?? Oh my. ^__^_

_Eh, I need help. Can anyone give me a physical description (hair color, eyes, height, etc) of the other detectives? Rose, Ted, Drake, JJ and whatnot? I have no idea how the guys look like *sweatdrop*. Help me?_


	8. Chapter 8:And so he begins to remember

**_WARNING! __This chapter is excruciatingly short! This is because I am a sadistic author by nature and love leaving my readers on the proverbial edge! *Cue insane laughter here* Wahahahahahaha! I am so sorry! . . . . . . .er, actually, I'm not. *giggle* I just thought it would be fun ya know. . . .er. Anyway, the next chapter, which will be out SOON, I promise, will really lay out the whole mystery of the folder!_**

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

                                                             **Chapter 8**     

                                              **And so he begins to remember**

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

"Detectives? If I may have some of your time?"

Two heads looked up at the intruding voice and one smiled wearily while the other just stared at him.

"Sir," Ryo greeted him. "What can we do for you?" Dee just continued staring at him, his face unreadable.

Berkley gave an inaudible sigh and sat himself down on one of the available chairs. Ted, who had followed him in, gave his friends a small smile but kept quiet, standing behind Berkley's chair in silent support. Berkley noted that they had moved Dee to a private room but one near a nurse's station anyway. The room was obviously meant for a single occupant only but it had been enlivened by the bright splashes of color from the bouquets of flowers Dee's well-wishers had sent. He also noted that a pile of comics lay strewn haphazardly on a side table and raised an eyebrow.

"Changed your reading preferences Laytner?" he asked wryly.

Dee saw where his gaze had landed and managed a tired smile. "Bikky thought it'd be good for me. Stop me from doing or thinking anything stupid again." Ryo winced.

"And where is Bikky anyway?" Berkley asked politely. He had met the boy yesterday as they both waited for Ryo to wake up from the sedative he had been given and had gotten acquainted. His impression of the boy had been that of a street kid; tough, world-weary but touchingly innocent under the layers of bluster. What had happened had shaken him up badly and he had taken some time to comfort the boy in his own no-nonsense way. Berkley hoped it had helped.

Ryo answered him. "Bikky's down at the cafeteria with Cal, his friend, getting something to eat."

Berkley nodded to himself. Good. What he had to say would not be appropriate for Bikky to hear. Hell, he doubted whether it'd be appropriate for anyone to hear.

"You two remember that I had assigned Ted here to look up similar M.Os  in old files for this Anti-Christ killings?"

Both Dee and Ryo looked intrigued at the casual use of Ted's name, the former grinning slightly but they both nodded all the same.

"Well he did found a similar case."

"When did it occur?" Ryo asked, a frown marring his forehead. "It must have been sometime back if we hadn't heard of it before."

"It was," Berkley confirmed. "But, before I go on. . .Laytner, do you remember the orphanage you were in before you stayed with. . .ah. . ." Berkley confirmed with his notes before continuing, "Mother Penguin?"

Dee looked surprised at what seemed to be a total non-sequitir while Ryo shot him a puzzled look.

"I didn't know you were at another orphanage before Dee."

Dee nodded uncomfortably, his unbandaged hand fiddling with his blankets. His left hand meanwhile, had clenched up into a fist. "I don't really remember much about it," he started slowly, "it was before I was ten I think. . . .they had to move me to another orphanage because it was. . .closing down."

Berkley noted with some discomfort that Dee started looking distracted and he forced himself to go on before he lost his nerve.

"What else do you remember Laytner?" He was careful to keep his voice gentle.

Dee shook his head. "Nothing else really. . .I liked Penguin's better anyway. . ."

Ryo frowned suddenly at Berkley, a suspicious glint in his eyes. "Where are you leading to sir?" he asked without preamble.

Berkley sighed heavily and waved the thick file he held yet in his hands. "This is the case Ted found. Contrary to what's going on now, it wasn't a serial killing. A group of cultists had taken the All Saints Orphanage hostage. It happened 17 years ago." Dee looked blank. "When you were 9 and still living there Laytner," he finished softly.

The minutes ticked by painfully as both Ryo and Dee took in what he said. Incredulity was the expression that crossed Ryo's face. Blankness was still Dee's mask.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said faintly, but his hands had started shaking.

Berkley shot Ted a helpless look but his detective gave him the same back. He was their superior. Their boss. It was his task to give them the unpleasant news.

"17 years ago, December 24th, a group of cultists attacked the All Saints Orphanage and held around 5 nuns and 20 orphans hostage. The nuns and 7 of the kids were immediately killed but the rest were left alive. 13 of them. The police were somehow alerted and a showdown ensued." Berkley paused to clear his throat. "You were the only survivor."

Dee shook his head frantically, drawing his knees to his chest, clasping them tight. "Nonononononono," he chanted. "You're lying, you're wrong! Nothing happened there! Nothing! I don't remember anything like that! I don't! I don't!"

"Dee, please," Ryo said soothingly. "Calm down. It's okay, Dee?"

But Dee threw off Ryo's comforting hug and pressed his hands against his ears. "No! Shut up! I don't remember! Nothing happened! Nothing! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" He had started to shriek now and nothing Ryo said or do could calm him down. 

Truly alarmed now, Berkley and Ted moved to Dee's side, trying to restrain him as Dee flailed about but it was like trying to hold down a possessed man. He went on shrieking and not a moment too soon, the door flew open and Dr. Wyle came running in with a nurse in tow. Ted quickly stepped aside for the doctor but even before Dr. Wyle could do anything, Dee suddenly stopped his frenetic struggles.

Amidst his harsh breathing, Ryo asked tentatively, "Dee?"

In a voice unlike his own, Dee whispered, "I don't want to remember." And his body jerked violently, head thrown back as he started gasping for breath.

Without any pretense at politeness, Dr. Wyle pushed Berkley and Ryo away and shouted at the nurse. "Get a med team in here right now! He's going into arrest!"

None of them noticed the door swinging shut softly behind them.

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

                                                      **to**** be continued**

**                                                  * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

_Ah. . . .do I feel a murderous aura emanating from my readers? What a wonderful feeling it is. . . . .*cue laughter Tomoyo-style here* Ohohohohoho! If you REALLY want to know more, why, it's easy! Just tell me how much of a genius I am and how much you hate me for leaving you like this! The best threat will ensure that I get the next chapter out as soon as possible! Ohohohoho! Jaa ne!_


	9. Chapter 9:He couldn't save them

_A/N: It makes my heart warm seeing so many new people reading my fic. That, or you people have been reading but not reviewing. . .*pouts* I like reviews. . .heh. Thank you to all. Unfortunately (again) this chapter is not as lengthy as I would have liked it. I figured I'd better get something up before any of you actually carried out your threats! Ohoho!_

**_Yasha_****_ Misaki: _**_Wow.__ . .you made me blush! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked my new fic! (I hope you're reading this by the way) You have no idea how happy you made me with your praise!_

****

**_Ians_Koibito_****_, Jexia, E-san, XZanayu: _**_Thank you! ^__^ Ians_Koibito! Look! I remembered your '_' again! Hehe! After all, after taking so much time to come up with a good screen name, it kinda sucks when others mess it up, don't cha think? And the pigs are still flying._

**_Treesap_****_: _**_*sniff* What a lovely threat you gave them. I cried, feeling the heartfelt menace you radiated! Thank you. XD_

**_Teridie_****_, Akurei, Skippy, lady malynn, andie, missa: _**_Ah, none of you threatened me. How sad._

**_Natascha_****_: _**_Hey, I'm glad you liked the way I depicted Ted and __Berkley__ together. Truth to tell, I had no plans whatsoever for THAT little angle to develop. I WAS influenced by a FAKE fic that had Rose and Ted together but it was a rather. . .painful relationship. When I had my Ted and Rose talking, somehow, it felt natural for the two of them to get together like that. Ah, me and my romantic tendencies. . .And actually, if you threatened me with a chocolate cake, I might not do the story at all *cackles* I'll just spend my time eating cake! XD_

**_DdraigCoch_****_, missa, Ashura Akuma, Illustrious Sorrow, dbzchild, Quatorze, AnimeCrazed: _**_Oh! The horror! Another cliffhanger! Wahaha*cough* sorry. Sorrow, I like your name ^^ very nice!_

_Warning: bad recollections. Very bad._

_                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***_

**                                                              Chapter 9**

**                                                      He couldn't save them**

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

_The day started out as it usually did. Sister Margaret came in to wake them up around __7 am__ for breakfast. The older kids had already awakened hours ago to do their part-time jobs; selling newspaper, collecting recyclables, anything really. Dee meanwhile, though still not old enough to get a job, nonetheless was awake even before the soft footfalls of Sister Margaret's sensible black shoes intruded the quiet calm of the morning._

_"Everyone," Sister Margaret called out, "Wake up now. Breakfast is ready."_

_Rolling his eyes, __Dee__ walked over to the nun and scowled his best scowl at the middle-aged woman who only smiled serenely back at him._

_"You know you gotta be louder than that to wake them up," he tried to make his childish tenor more curt-like but all that came out was a rather petulant tone._

_"But. . .they look so peaceful sleeping. . .it's such a shame to wake them up really," She wrung her hands guiltily and shot him a tentative smile._

_"It's more of a shame if the toast gets cold," he informed her and without further ceremony, stalked over to the windows and gave the threadbare curtains a hard yank that flooded the room with sudden bright light._

_"OI!__ WAKE UP! BREAKFAST'S READY!"_

_Tousled heads and sleepy murmurs instantly filled the air as his little brood came awake. Really, the one who was responsible for waking them up everyday was Dee, not Sister Margaret. But they went through the same ritual every morning anyway._

_"__Dee_! I bumped my elbow and it really hurts!" 5 year-old Kerry whined.__

_"__Dee_! Jake took my teddy bear!"__

_"__Dee_! I forgot where's my toothbrush!"__

_9 year-old __Dee__ gave a manful sigh and rolled his eyes comically. And every morning, they would all bring their complaints to him. _

_He took the injured elbow, rubbed it carefully and kissed it firmly. "There, all better." Kerry beamed at him and scampered off. "Jake, give back Susan's teddy bear and Jamie, your toothbrush is in the bathroom."_

_It started out like any other day really._

_It ended like no night ever did._

_                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***_

_9 year-old __Dee__ didn't understand. He didn't understand what these bad men wanted. And he knew without a doubt that they were bad. Evil. The minute they stormed in, they had pulled out menacing guns and threatened everyone with it. The older kids, Michael, Tommy and Big Jamie tried to fight back but they were easily overcome. The bad men had hit them; hit them very hard and they were bleeding, piled up on the floor. _

_It seemed like everyone was screaming and crying. Dee was scared, extremely scared but he tried not to show it as Kerry clung to him, sobbing. The other little ones, his brood, also clustered close around him. The sisters were trying to hold off the bad men, shielding them from view but not caring in the least that these were sisters, the bad men hurt them. Dee saw with wide, frightened eyes as the leader of the bad men calmly raised his gun and with no hesitation at all, fired a shot directly into Sister Margaret's face._

_To __Dee_, it took forever for her to fall to the floor.__

_"Don't look," he whispered to his brood and turned Kerry's face into his chest. But he himself could not tear his fascinated eyes away from the gruesome red mess that had once been Sister Margaret's face._

_"Take everyone else into the chapel!" The leader barked. "Now!"_

_They followed the prodding of the guns numbly. Not a few of them were crying but the other sisters tried to hush them, saying that everything would be okay, that God would protect them._

_Dee__ looked back to where Sister Margaret's body lay in a crumpled heap and knew that God wasn't listening._

_Herded into a tight little crowd near the front pews, _Dee___ tried to hide his fear as the leader came close to them and squatted down so he was eye level with them. All __Dee__ could see of his face was his eyes. The rest, like the other bad men, were covered in tight black masks, showing only their eyes. They were also covered in black, flowing robes. __Dee_ was reminded of a picture he had seen once of the Grim Reaper. That's what these men looked like; like Death walking.__

_"Well, well," the leader whispered. He had warm brown eyes. "And aren't you such pretty children?"_

_"Please! Spare them!" Sister Janice crawled over, placing herself before _Dee___. "Let the children go!"_

_That warm brown eyes glittered maliciously and he waved with his gun. "But dear Sister, the children are what we're here for." As Sister Janice's eyes widened in shock, he waved his gun. "Prepare her."_

_Two men came up and shrieking with fear and anger for her children, they dragged Sister Janice away to the small altar. Someone had placed a bowl there and a long, wicked dagger rested next to it._

_"And what's your name sweet one?" the leader fingered Kerry's blond curls and she whimpered, huddling closer to __Dee__. He hugged her tight and shot the man his fiercest glare._

_"Don't you dare touch her!" he spat out._

_The leader seemed surprised at his vehemence but a pleased light entered his eyes anyway. "So brave," he whispered. "Trying to protect your little friends, hmm?"_

_In response, __Dee__ scuttled backwards with Kerry in his arms. The other children were crowded behind him and he glared protectively._

_The man gave a delighted chuckle and snapped his fingers. "Take him!"_

_He tired to fight back, kicking, punching, biting, scratching, anything but the men were stronger than he was and dragged him away from his friends to the other side of the chapel. They forced him to sit on the cold floor and the instant he tried to get up, a vicious backhand snapped his head around and for a moment, stars filled his darkened vision._

_"Let the ceremony begin!"_

_With dazed eyes, __Dee__ watched as they stripped Sister Janice of her wimple and tore her dress. Dimly, _Dee___ felt that he should be embarrassed seeing a sister as uncovered as that but his head was still ringing. He did not fully comprehend what they were about to do until another man took up the dagger as two others pulled back Sister Janice's arms behind her and forced her to lean over the bowl._

_He couldn't close his eyes fast enough as the dagger flashed across her white throat and red blood gushed out, splashing into the bowl._

_"Sister Janice!" he screamed and once again, tried to run. But again, he was dealt with another blow and he lay on the floor, panting._

_"You care about them, don't you boy?" It was the leader again. He now had Kerry in his arms and she struggled weakly. "You want to save them?"_

_"Let them go," he moaned, scrabbling weakly on the concrete floor but his head hurt too much for him to move. The two men had a tight hold on his legs anyway. "Please don't hurt Kerry. Don't hurt any of them."_

_If anything, his pleas seemed to amuse the man even more. "Her turn next!" he called out cheerfully and held out the screaming Kerry._

_"No! No! Let me go! Let me go! __Dee__! Save me! _Dee___!" Kerry screamed, kicking her little legs futilely as she was now held over the blood-filled bowl. Sister Janice's body had been kicked aside and her wide, empty eyes glittered with tears. _

_"No!" __Dee_ howled. "Please! No! Kerry!" But he couldn't do anything as the dagger flashed again and this time, Kerry gurgled, choking on her own blood that even now joined Sister Janice's in the bowl.__

_"__Dee_—" Blue eyes stared beseechingly at him for a brief second and the next, dulled as life left her.__

_He laid limp in their arms as little Kerry was tossed like a rag doll to join Sister Janice. The other children were now huddled in a tight ball together, crying quietly. Sister Sarah, Michelle and Elizabeth were now lined up in front of the altar by the other men. They were crying too._

_"Do you still want to save them?" The leader, without him noticing, had crouched down in front of him, staring into his eyes. "Well? Do you still want to save them boy?"_

_Dee__ stared back into those laughing eyes and whispered. "Let them go, please."_

_"So, so brave for such a small boy," the man sighed happily. "You must be like a big brother to the little ones, to Kerry there. But you couldn't save Kerry could you?"_

_"Please," he whispered brokenly. "Please let them go."_

_"Do you want to save them boy?" The warm brown eyes bore into his with sudden intensity and some of the fog that had clouded _Dee___'s mind with Kerry's last word lifted a bit._

_He nodded slowly. "Please. . .just let them go."_

_"Then drink."_

_He stared uncomprehendingly at the man._

_"If you don't want the others to die, drink this. Drink every last drop."_

_Dee__ looked down. The man was holding the bowl. The bowl they had used to collect the spilled blood which even now was filled to the brim with Sister Janice's and Kerry's. The man wanted him to drink their blood. Drink all of it if he wanted to save little Jamie, Jake, Tony, Susan, Courtney. . .everyone._

_With small, trembling hands, hands that have just started to roughen from too many hours playing baseball, __Dee__ gripped the bowl tightly. It felt warm. Warm and sticky where the blood had run down the sides._

_"That's right," the brown eyes gleamed. "Drink every last drop."_

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

"I couldn't save them."

Ryo started from the numb haze he had fallen into. The doctors and nurses had thrown him, Ted and Rose out earlier when Dee had gone into arrest. Tense minutes were spent pacing the hallway outside as they listened to the controlled frenzy that went on inside Dee's room. Bikky had come up to them with Cal, as they were waiting and a frightened look entered his eyes.

"R-ryo?" he tugged at Ryo's shirt. "Is. . .is something wrong with Dee?"

He couldn't answer Bikky. All he could do was hug him close and waited in silence.

It seemed forever before the door opened and Dr. Wyle stepped out looking tired.  He assured them that Dee was stabilized was already sleeping. He hadn't wanted to let anyone in but before Ryo, he had relented and allowed only him inside. The rest, he had declared firmly, could wait until morning.

Bikky had told him not to worry, that he'd wait, him and Cal but numbly, he asked Ted to bring them back to the apartment. They can get some rest and come back tomorrow morning. If they had protested, Ryo didn't hear them. He had shut the door behind him and slumped down into a chair next to Dee's bed. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, unmoving, when that scratched, hollow voice broke the stillness.

"I couldn't save them."

His head snapped up. "Dee? You're awake?"

Blank grey eyes stared at him and Ryo couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine. Those eyes were dead. Cold and empty. They weren't Dee's eyes. Dee's were warm, filled with joy and mischief. 

"I tried to save them. I really did."

"Dee, what are you talking about? Please tell me," Ryo begged but Dee only shut his eyes back. Ignoring the trails of tubes that pierced his arms, Dee curled up into a ball, hiding his face behind his hands.

"I couldn't save them. I couldn't save them." He was sobbing now.

"Please Dee, don't cry. Please tell me what's wrong," Ryo begged again to no use. "Please Dee! Please," the last word was a heartbroken whisper as Dee went on crying.

"I couldn't save them."

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

_                                                         **to**** be continued**_

                                                  *** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***

_A/N: Everyone! I have a new fic out! It's a **Cardcaptor** Sakura **fic called ****CardHunter**. **Please give it a try if you're a CCS fan. ^^**_

_It's funny, but after doing this chapter, I still had no idea how to make __Dee_ tell Ryo what happened. Earlier this evening, as I was walking to the store, I was hit by inspiration! I now know how ___Dee_ would do it! Ohohoho!__

_I think by now everyone should have a clear idea as to how I write. Basically, I get an idea for a Plot and just jump into the waters hoping I won't drown. Gah._


	10. Of Regrets,Recrimination and Reproof

**Of Regrets, Recriminations and Reproof                                                                           **

_By Kelly_

_A/N: This is just a teaser chapter to whet your appetite for the full-length one. I'm really sorry for the delay but I'm suffering from lack of privacy to type my stories. As a result, all of the fanfics I'm working on are suffering: **End of the Worlds, Cardhunter **and a __Tokyo__Babylon__/X AU fic which I'm drafting. But no worries, I've uploaded a teaser chapter for **End of the Worlds **also and I'll try to do one for **Cardhunter**as well. You'll definitely see a long chapter after the 29th! Till then, enjoy!_

"Look, you said it yourself that if he doesn't want to talk about it, we can't force him to! So just sign the damn release form and let us get him back home!"

Ted sighed, running a hand through messy brown hair, letting his head fall back against the wall behind him. He had been pacing the hallway for nearly an hour as Berkley first tried reasoning, cajoling and finally, threatening Dee's doctor to let Dee go back home. It had been Ryo that asked for the help. Dee, upon waking had done nothing but ask them to let him go back. That he didn't want to stay in the hospital any longer.

"I am not asking you, I'm telling you! If you can't help him and he doesn't want you to help him, then what's the use of forcing him?!"

Ted couldn't help the wry chuckle that he let escape at that. No matter that Berkley tried so hard to cultivate the image of a cool, suave Commissioner; always in control, demanding the best from his subordinates, when in truth, he was as protective as a mother hen. The last few days had been rough on everyone. The contents of the file he had found had upset the station in more ways than one. The others had clamored him for the details but what they already knew was all that he could tell them anyway. If Dee really is the only survivor of that massacre 17 years ago, then he might be the only link they have to solve the serial killings happening now.

As a cop, you deal with the harsh reality of life. That not everyone is nice, that there's some real bastards out there that makes you think, _are they still human? _But always, always. . . .you were able to separate work and home. The cases stay at the office. Home time is private time. Homicides, rape. . .all these are bad things that happen to _other people_. Sure, you might know their names, talked with them even. . .but they're in essence, strangers. People whom you've never met before. And probably never will again. So what to do when one of those bad things had apparently happened to a good friend? A buddy? _A fellow detective?_

That is when the lines between work and self is blurred. There is no longer that fuzzy wool that helps buffer you from the worst of humanity. The wool has been torn away. Bright light is flooding in and no matter what you do, the wool stays torn.

Uniformed policemen, those that walk the beat, share a common bond with other policemen. They're the ones out there keeping the street safe for little kids and grandmothers everywhere. They deal with the flotsam and jetsam of life. They are no less than the detectives in the squad room. They're in the same job after all. And they protect each other. They're the blue wall.

The detectives don't really have a certain moniker to identify themselves. But they still have that bond. They're family. And nobody gets away from messing with family.

But. . . .would the price they have to pay for it be too high?

A shudder ran through him. Ted was not a superstitious man by nature. He was a detective. He dealt with cold, hard facts. But he couldn't help the feeling of premonition anyway.

After all, if after 5 years on the squad and he still took his instincts lightly, then he shouldn't be holding a detective badge anyway.

"Ted?"

Ted's head snapped up instantly at the evident weariness in Berkley's tone of voice. He knew the weariness was more than just having to deal with the doctor. The mayor was still pressuring him everyday for visible results; Berkley had neglected to mention the All Saints case.

Berkley, in his opinion, failed to see why some asshole should use _his _detective's trouble as a ticket to stay in office.

"Sir. . ."

A blond eyebrow shot up in reproof.

"Berkley," Ted amended with a small grin. "I take it we got clearance?"

Berkley waved some papers he was holding in his hand. "Took him long enough," he snorted. Ted murmured something about being nice but Berkley bulldozed on anyway. "I swear I was about an inch away from pushing his stethoscope up his—"

"Commissioner!"

". . .he was very persistent."

Ted was hard put to keep up the stern look. Berkley was smiling one of his knee-melting smiles that said, I didn't mean anything. He had been getting a lot of those smiles, in different variations, from the Commissioner these past few days. He was somehow alarmed to realize that it _did _make his knees weak. A slow blush was staining his cheeks and Ted quickly looked away before he embarrassed himself. Staring determinedly at a particularly ugly oil painting of a meadow, one of the hospital's collection that graced the hallway, Ted tried to clear his throat first before speaking. He was afraid he might squeak if he didn't.

"So. . .er. . .what do we do about Dee?"

From the corner of his eye, Ted was disappointed to note that the smile had slid off quickly, to be replaced by a deep frown.

"I'm not sure," Berkley admitted slowly. "I'm thinking about getting the department's psychiatrist but somehow, I get the feeling that Laytner is not really the kind of person that opens up to shrinks," he smiled wryly.

Ted nodded in agreement. If there's one thing that's painfully obvious, being Dee's friend, is that Dee is a man who treasured his independence and pride. He wasn't arrogant. But he's not the kind of person to spill his guts to a total stranger either.

"Maybe if you give them some time off together, Ryo can get the full story from him," he suggested.

Almost, he regretted saying it.

At the mention of Ryo's name, a brief flicker of emotion crossed Berkley's face. He wasn't sure what it was; it could be anger? Resentment? Sadness? Either way, it rammed home the reminder that Berkley. . .no, _Rose_, always did have a liking for the Japanese-American.

_Real smart Ted.__ Real smart_, a little voice at the back of his head chided him gently.

Berkley seemed to have sense the sudden discomfort from him, or maybe he himself was uncomfortable. Whatever it was, the gentle, amicable mood between them evaporated and once again, the close, shuttered look was back on the tanned features. He was no longer Berkley. He was Commissioner Rose.

"It's a good idea," Berkley replied noncommittally. He held out the papers to Ted with an absent smile. "Would you mind giving these to McLean? I need to call the precinct to make some arrangements for the two of them."

Ted took the waiting papers. "Yes sir," he said quietly.

He couldn't help hoping for the gentle reprimand of "It's Berkley, not sir" but it never came.

**. . .to be continued. . .**


	11. Chapter 10:A bath and a kiss

_A/N: I figured I better upload this, even though it's not as long as I wanted it to be before you guys really do take me up on the offer to kill me if I didn't. ^__^;;_

**_Ivy: _**_Yay__! I nearly made you cry! _

**_DK-Adeena, lady malynn, K.firefly, KittiFlora, Ashura Akuma, louie, Illustrious Sorrow, Quatorze: _**_There you go. Another chapter. Blood, sweat and tears man. That's the keyword for getting this out. Whew!_

**_Mclachlan_****_: __Aww__.__ . .thanks. . .*blush* Hope you like this chapter as well!_**

**_Duette_****_, Natascha: __Fellow Berkley/Ted fans! You'll be pleasantly surprised then with this chapter. And yes, _****Duette****¸ I thought that we're long overdue for some Dee-angst. One that was not due to his 'recklessness' etc. See, I believe that even though _Dee__ is quite brash, loud and overenthusiastic at times, he's not the kind of cop that would needlessly endanger his partner. Not that that's not a good plot bunny ^^_**

**********

**Chapter 11: A bath and a kiss**

**********

"Do you want help?" the offer was quietly given, despite the fact that it was only the two of them in the room. The vases of flowers had long been given away, mostly to the kids in the children's wards while the various books and odds and ends had been packed away. Even now Bikky was waiting just outside, in the hallway with the bags.

Dee didn't answer him. At least, not vocally. Instead, he held out his arm and Ryo took it carefully, aware of the bandage that had yet to come off. Supporting the other man's weight comfortably against his own, the arm slung around his waist, Ryo gently tugged the unresponsive Dee out. In the hallway, Bikky waited for them quietly, Cal at his side and with none of the usual retorts.

The four of them made their way silently to the hospital's main entrance while the ebb and flow of the doctors, nurses and patients went on unabated around them. It didn't take them long to find a cab. Bikky and Cal helped load the bags into the boot and stepped back on to the pavement. They were going to hitch a ride with Ted instead to a basketball match that Bikky was playing in that afternoon. Ryo had offered his apologies earlier for having to miss it but Bikky had shook his head, saying that he understood.

After getting Dee in, Ryo slid inside, the brown cracked leather of the seats creaking under his weight. Dee had settled back against the seat, eyes closed while his right hand curled loosely over his left wrist.

"Where to mate?"

Bright brown eyes stared at him from the review mirror with lines of laughter etched deep into the skin. The accent, if not the choice of words were a dead giveaway for the driver's origin. Somehow, he didn't know why, it felt decidedly incongruous to Ryo about having an Australian cab driver in New York.

Before he could answer, Dee spoke up.

"I want to go home."

Dead grey eyes met his and Ryo nodded, his throat tightened uncomfortably.

"Yes," he echoed hoarsely. "Home please."

*********************

Dee stood in the middle of the living room, letting the familiarity of the place soak deep into his bones. This was truly his home now. Not the dingy one-bedroom apartment he had given up nor orphanage which Penguin had sheltered him with so much love and care. It was this place. _This _apartment. The one he shared with his partner and his bratty charge who was really a big softie under the layers of bluster he showed to the world.

Behind him, Ryo had taken the last of the bags into the bedroom, having insisted that Dee did not strain himself after getting out so soon from the hospital. Unknown to Dee, it had troubled Ryo just how passive he was being with all the coddling given. The old Dee would have had his hackles up and teeth bared at the mere _suggestion _ that he was too weak to do something. This Dee just nodded and waited silently.

"Dee?" A tentative hand touched his sleeve and Dee turned around in blank enquiry. 

"Would you like to take a bath?" Ryo forced a cheerful smile. "I got the tub filled with hot water already."

A hot bath sounded too good to pass up. Dee fixed a smile of his own on his face and made his way into the bathroom silently. Once inside, he stripped off his t-shirt, jeans and socks, piling them on the floor and stepped into the waiting bath.

The hot water felt good. He could feel all the tension that he had not known existed melt away as he leaned back and slid further in. The water lapped his chin, the suds tickling his ears and Dee let out a sigh.

"Would you like me to wash your hair for you?"

Dee snapped upright in shock, water sloshing against the rim of the porcelain tub with his sudden movement. He hadn't heard Ryo coming in and it startled him badly. A warm hand grasped his shoulder and he twisted around. Ryo smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you like that," Ryo said softly.

Again, instead of answering, Dee just shook his head and smiled back. The words were at the tip of his tongue but somehow, he could not say them. All he could do was smile, nod or shake his head. Words were too dangerous to be used right now. Words might break the thin glass walls he had erected between himself and the memories he had kept buried these past 18 years.

"Would you like me to?" Ryo held up the bottle of shampoo and Dee smiled in answer.

A half-hour later, Dee had towel dried and was wearing a loose sweatshirt and flannel pants, reclining on the couch in the living room. A moment later, Ryo came in from the kitchen, bearing two mugs of hot chocolate with him. He handed one to Dee who took it with yet again, another smile and nothing else. They sat side by side on the couch, each nursing their mug till only the dregs remained. Still, no words had yet to escape Dee.

"Dee?"

In answer, Dee burrowed his way into Ryo's embrace and hid his face in the blond's chest. They stayed like that for most of the night.

************

"Sir, these are the reports you asked for."

Without waiting for a reply, Ted spun around on his heels but had barely taken a step when he was stopped by Rose's "Ted!"

Rooted to the spot, Ted waited but didn't turn his back, preferring to face the door than the Commissioner. But an instant later, he changed his mind. This was mere petty behaviour he was showing. He was better than this. He was a detective. Not a spoilt kid who had his treat taken away.

Mind made up, he turned abruptly only to nearly avoid a collision with Rose who had stepped a little too close.

"Sorry."

Ted was a bit breathless from the sudden contact. Rose had placed his hands on his shoulders, steadying them both and he was only too aware of the heat emanating from the non-existent space between them. Neither made any move to rectify the situation and it might have been his imagination but Ted distinctly felt that the office, the very air around them had risen in temperature.

"You keep on calling me 'sir'." A ghost of breath ruffled his hair and Ted tilted his head back to better see the Commissioner who was a good 3 inches taller than him. Hair fell into his eyes but before he could brush it away, Rose did it for him, his fingers agonizingly soft. Ted shivered.

Somehow, that brought him to his senses. With a sudden jerk, he pulled himself away from the near embrace, all too aware now of the loss of heat between them. And that only made him angrier.

Eyes flashing, Ted snapped his answer. "That's because I am just a detective, _sir_ and not someone who's merely a convenient placeholder in the time being!"

The words crackled in the air, vibrant with tension that was waiting for the right fuse to set it off. Body tense, Ted waited, barely breathing as anger still flowed sharp and hot inside him. Rose made no move, only staring at him silently, golden brown eyes inscrutable under the poor lighting.

"No, you're not," Rose admitted calmly.

The utter calmness with which the words were said threw Ted into a loop. He blinked rapidly, confused. "What?"

Rose clarified further for him. "You're right. You're not a placeholder."

Ted expected to feel. . . .something, with the admission, but he had not expected to feel the sharp twist of regret inside him instead.

He was thrown into a further loop when Rose went on.

"I'm sorry."

Ted was now blinking so fast, his eyes were watering. "You're sorry?"

Rose nodded once, the gesture slow and deliberate. "I am. It's just. . ." he gestured briefly to the door, "old habits are hard to break."

"What do you mean, 'old habits'?" Ted asked with a sinking feeling. 'Old habits' of having a temporary replacement while you chase after another?

"Maclean." Ted winced inwardly. "Do you honestly see me as someone who gives up without a fight?"

"No."

Rose smiled. "That's what I mean. I've been chasing after Maclean for so long, it's become a habit." The smile turned wry with a slight tinge of sheepishness behind it. "It's somewhat automatic now."

"Oh." With some effort, he managed to stop the rapid blinking.

"Listen, Ted," Rose moved closer and when he didn't protest or made a move to get away, the smile turned brighter. "I'm sorry also, for being such an ass. I didn't mean to lead you on like that."

Leading him on like that? So does this mean that he never wanted it to go further? That he was just. . . .flirting? Ted didn't notice the hand that was creeping above his right shoulder, hovering near the nape of his neck. He was too busy digging a hole in his mind where he could bury himself and forget that he had acted like a lovesick fool, and with his superior, nonetheless. 

Mind on automatic mode, Ted nodded, saying, "Yes, I understand now. Thank you for explaining it to me now if you don't mind I—" he stopped abruptly when the hand made its presence known.

"I think you misunderstood me, Detective." The smile turned into a grin when Rose noticed the blank look of surprise on his face. As the Commissioner moved closer, head tilting forward, his brain, still on autopilot, took the necessary steps. Eyes fluttered close, breath hitching to a stop, he met Rose's lips with his own.

************

**to**** be continued**

************

_A/N: Yay! Progress in the romance department! Took you long enough, Rose! Never fear, you will see more action in the next chapter! That is, action of the kill kill kill die die die type rather than the kiss kiss kiss type. For those interested, I have two new fics out; a **Tokyo Babylon/X **fic called **"Not Your Ordinary Life" and a **Yami****** no Matsuei fic called **"Why you should never kick Muraki in the balls"**. Catchy, eh? *wink* Ooh, for ****Cardcaptor**** Sakura fans, do try my CCS fic called "**Cardhunter**". It's depressing having only **Yasha****** Misaki review it. . .*pouts***_


	12. Chapter 11:Save me

**Chosen One**

**Chapter Twelve:Save Me**

_A story by Kelly_

**_Kelly says: _**_I'm sure that everyone is aware of the fact that my pen-name has been changed from **Kelly **to **Shiozaki**. I'm still me. I just felt compelled to do it because with the new priority system ff.net implemented recently, my pen-name was changed from **Kelly **to **kelly8**. How stupid is that? Hence, the change. But you can still call me Kelly. XD_

_Ah.__ . . . .about the excessive delay for this chapter. . . . . .I'm sorry?_

_Really, really sorry?___

_I really am! The major story I'm working on now, **End of the Worlds**, is reaching its ultimate climax so I've been focusing largely on that. . . .and the fact that I. . . .accidentally. . . .started three other stories. . . . . .But this won't happen again! I'm more than ashamed that I've been neglecting one of my most well-received stories! Over 140 reviews for only a few chapters! *Sob!* Thank you!_

**_Review replies:_**

**_Quatorze_****_, Missa6, lady_malynn, Xenocide, Shuichi-san, Duette, Jexia, crystal, Talon no Hentai, Nikki, Amethyst, Kiiro, tdei, Cole's lover: _**_I am so sorry that I didn't acknowledge your reviews the last time (I was in a rush!) so here ya go! Thank you all, for your kind comments and suggestions! _

**_Natascha_****_: _**_Why, thank you for your praise dear one. ^^_

**_XZanayu_****_: _**_I'm afraid that just by being at home won't get dear __Dee__ to open up. . .you will find out though, how he finally breaks down. . .poor Dee. . .how can I be so. . . .evil?_

**_Duette_****_: _**_Well? Have you read my other YnM fics? *sniff*  You better. . .Hey, I think wherever there's a bishounen, it's heaven already, right? ^^_

**_Jexia_****_: "_**_I enjoyed the moodiness of it all." ---what a lovely thing to say. . .*sniff* I'm touched. I like being moody. ^^_

**_Ashura_****_ Akuma: _**_May I say thank you for not carrying out your threat? And here I am, so many weeks late! Agh! Don't kill me!_

**_Dee_****_, Shuichi-san, K.firefly, crystal child, ians koibito, E-san: _**_Hello! So many reviewers! So happy! Dance dance dance!_

**_C-Chan: _**_This is the first FAKE fic you actually enjoyed? . . . . .wow. . . .THANK YOU!!!_

**_Sissy & Kody (+gang): _**_Wow, multiple reviewers! Or is it multiple personalities? *giggle* yes, this is kinda AU. But hope you'll love it anyway. And. . . .*fidgets nervously* Have you read my YnM fics yet? Do you like it????_

**_Kizuna_****_, Ravensilver, starfishsama: _**_Yosh__! New reviewers! Keep your reviews coming!_

_A note to everyone: You know, I don't really know which one is Ted in the manga. . . .so yeah, I'm winging it here. XD_

********************

_                                                                       I tried to kill the pain_

_                                                                      But only brought more_

_                                                                  I lay dying and I'm pouring _

_                                                                   crimson regret & betrayal_

_                                                                               I'm dying_

_                                                                             I'm praying_

_                                                                            I'm bleeding_

_                                                                           I'm screaming_

_                                                                  Am I too lost to be saved?_

_                                                                           Am I too lost?_

_                                                                    My god, my tourniquet_

_                                                                    Return to me salvation_

_                                                            ~Evanescence "My Tourniquet"~_

                                                                   *********************

He didn't want Ryo to leave him alone. Being alone meant that the voices from his past would rise in an unrelenting roar, drowning out everything but the screams of the little ones, the quiet sobbing of the sisters, the anguished cries reverberating to the heavens to fall upon deaf ears. In hindsight, it became clear suddenly, why all this time, though he believed, he did not have _faith_.

The words were at the tip of his tongue yet his mouth stayed clamped shut.

_Don't leave me alone._

_Please._

_I'm scared._

"Rose called a meeting for today," Ryo said quietly. "We haven't told the Mayor anything but there seemed to be a leak in the station. He says he knows we're keeping something from him. He's threatening to suspend the Commissioner, put one of his own on the case." A pause.

His long brown fingers, trembling from suppressed pleadings, refused to give up their desperate hold on the buttoned sleeve. A hand paler than his, the creamy overtones a mark of Asian descent, covered his callused fingers and squeezed gently.

"We can't afford that. If the Mayor goes through with his threat, he'll see that the All Saints case gets thrown wide open."

Refuse to stare into amber-brown eyes dulled with worry. Can't say the words he wanted. Mustn't break down.

"I have to leave the minute Bikky gets here but I'll be back as soon as possible, alright Dee?"

Unlatch the fingers. Don't look into his eyes. Mustn't break down. Mustn't. Can't afford to. If he breaks down now, he won't. . .he _can't stop_. He would have to tell _everything. _

The _humiliation_. 

The _despair_. 

The _shame_. 

The _grief_.

_He would go insane._

Long minutes spent in terse silence. He could sense the deep frustration that Ryo tried to hold back for his sake. Questions, demands burned behind the calm façade Ryo puts up but it gets past anyway. Each one unanswered stabs him for he could sense as well, that Ryo was beginning to doubt whether he was trusted enough. Whether he was worthy to be told of the horrors that plagued his every step and gnawed at his shadow.

_It's not you Ryo. It's me. If I tell you what happened, you'll hate me. I hate myself already. I can't let you hate me either._

A key scraped in the lock and the door swings open. _(Jake? Nononononot Jake) _Bikky was back, Carol at his side and for once, the two of them didn't dash in with their usual high humour. The children were subdued despite coming back from an anticipated match. Hands laced together in shared nervousness, the hint of moisture in Carol's overly bright eyes, a muscle clenching and unclenching in Bikky's jaw, they looked older than their age and at the same time, pathetically fragile.

_My fault.__ My fault. Everything's my fault._

A warm hand cupped his frozen cheek and a gentle thumb brushed softly across his numb lips.

"I'll be back soon, okay?"

Ryo didn't try to kiss him and for that, Dee was ashamedly glad.

Ted was by no means a romantic man. Oh, when seducing a pretty woman, he'd do the whole roses and candlelit dinners bit. When it's a good-looking guy, he can say sweet nothings with the best of them. So he wasn't a romantic man by nature. He just did what he had to in order to get the guy/girl that he wanted.

So it was a pretty bemused Ted that found himself all weak in the knees and his heart all aflutter like some lovesick heroine in a cheap, paperback Mills & Boon. All because of one kiss.

_Well. . . .it's a damn good kiss_, that distant corner of his brain, which miraculously retained function despite the serious tongue acrobatics going on, noted helpfully. Ted would like to remark on what a brilliant observation that was but he was hampered by the fact that the Commissioner had somehow turned him around and he was leaning against the heavy wooden desk, slowly, but surely, edging across the cluttered tabletop.

_. . . . . . . ._went that little voice. Berkley had positioned himself right in between his legs and his body was imagining all sorts of pleasant situations that could arise from their present predicament.

Situation A: Berkley could move his right hand, which was currently roaming all over his back, on to his thigh and run it up and down _there _instead. Berkley may move on to wherever he feels comfortable after that.

Situation B: Berkley could quit with all that caressing and start doing some serious unbuttoning action here.

Situation C: Berkley could stop French kissing him on the mouth and French kiss other parts of his anatomy.

Situation D: To hell with all the other situations. Berkley could just make love to him right on the desk in the goddamn precinct and he'd be happy as a clam.

There was definitely a little sigh from him when the possibility of situation D came up. His slacks were starting to feel a bit too tight and he was panting as heavily as though he had run a 5-mile trek. Who cares anyway about the fact that they were currently in Berkley's office with only thin walls and a flimsy door separating them from the rest of the station? Who cares about the fact that the door wasn't locked and that anyone could walk in on them? Who cares-

"Oh, shit!" Ted gasped and hurriedly pushed Berkley away. The Commissioner was looking more than a bit dazed and rumpled but the bewilderment was quickly turning into irritation. Apparently he didn't like being interrupted in the middle of making out. Ted was too panicky to soothe his injured pride though. He could see someone's silhouette against the frosted glass of the door.

"Someone's coming!" he hissed and tried to put his clothes in order. Berkley's eyes widened in appropriate shock and quickly made sure he was presentable as well. It was a mark of both men's experience that it took them less than 10 seconds to do that. With a last peck on the still-bruised and swollen lips of his detective, Berkley pushed Ted into the chair opposite his desk and sat down on his own leather seat.

They weren't a moment too soon as a bare second later, a diffident knock sounded on his door.

"Come-" Berkley stopped; his voice was a bit too hoarse, cleared his throat and tried again. "Come in," he called out.

The door swung open slowly to reveal a wan and pale looking Ryo. Berkley lurched forward in his seat, hands gripping the edge of his desk so tight, the knuckles were straining white against the skin.

"What happened? Is Laytner alright?" He rapped out in rapid-fire speech. He was about to go off on another tirade when Ryo held up a weary hand.

"He's fine sir," Ryo replied softly and closed the door quietly behind him. He came forward, snagging an empty chair and it was only then that he realized Ted's presence.

"Ted!" he exclaimed. "I didn't see you there. Sorry," he added.

Ted waved aside the apology and instead, concentrated on the circles beneath Ryo's eyes.

"You look like hell," he said by way of a greeting. He was rewarded with a thin smile.

"I feel like it," was the answer.

At Ryo's first assurance that everything was alright, Berkley had released his death grip on the desk, subsiding gratefully into his seat. Fingers drumming a restless, soft staccato on the polished surface of the desk which had nearly turned into a bed earlier, he shot Ted a look under hooded sea-green eyes.

"So how is Laytner?" Berkley asked, the tone a shade concerned.

Ryo sighed, running a hand through sandy blond hair which, Ted realized with a start, was slightly disheveled. Not like the man to be so.

"He's not saying anything!" Ryo burst out suddenly and slammed a closed fist on the desktop. "I know the doctor said that he probably needs therapy to ever say anything about what happened but!" he slammed his fist again, scattering some papers, "I'm his partner, goddamnit! Doesn't he trust me?! He should know that I would never hurt him or _do _anything that he doesn't want to and-"

Ted didn't need the prompting of another hooded glance from Berkley before he was up and pulling Ryo into a rough embrace. The tirade stopped as suddenly as it began, Ryo grasping tight onto the comforting arms as breath after shuddery breath forced its way out. Berkley thoughtfully got up, moving to a more distant corner and giving Ryo the time he needed to pull himself together. He stared blankly at some indistinct plaque hung burnished on the wall. He could hear Ted murmuring quietly, over and over to Ryo and nothing from the man himself.

At times like this, how Berkley hated being the Commissioner. How he hated being 'the one in charge'. Comfort and assurance could not be freely given even to someone as distraught as Ryo was. Not when they had _that _past between them as well as his title. Now, his neck burned faintly as he recalled the near-dogged persistence he had shown in trying to get Ryo into bed with him. Sometimes, he wondered whether it was actually his brain that did the thinking for him.

"Sir?" he sounded tired now, instead of desperate. Taking it as a good sign, Berkley turned, giving Ryo a small smile.

"What do you have to report Detective?" he asked briskly and was rewarded with a grateful look from Ryo. He found the note of command assuring, a constant in his world.

"Nothing much sir," he winced. "As I've mentioned before, Detective Laytner refuses to say a word." Bare hands were held before him helplessly. "I think-"

Again, he stopped, but instead of another breakdown, he was stopped by the frantic pounding on the door which itself crashed open not a second later.

"Sir!" JJ burst in, gasping. "Out front sir! The tv! News! More murder!"

The three of them practically vaulted over the still gasping JJ and rushed into the front. All of the other detectives, including the chief were clustered in a horrified knot around the battered tv set kept in the station. Pushing his detectives aside roughly, Berkley made his way to the front, Ryo and Ted following doggedly in his wake.

The flickering scene on the fuzzy tv screen brought him up short and the two crashed into him, mumbling hasty apologies. Which were cut off mid-breath.

An attractive brunette was standing in what appeared to be an abandoned building, as shown by the broken concrete slabs, with weeds pushing up through the cracks and other unidentifiable junk and debris cluttering the ground. The background was dark and fuzzy, little light filtering in through the cavernous lot from the holed roof.

"I'm inside in what used to be the All Saints Church, abandoned since the last 80's," she was saying in a brisk, no-nonsense voice. But one couldn't help but note the fine trembling of her hand which held her microphone or the faint lines of stress marring the corners of her eyes. "In the latest spree of what is now known as the Anti-Christ killings, more victims have been uncovered in this desecrated holy ground.

This scene was discovered just a little while ago and our station was tipped off. Anxious to give you, the viewers, news as it breaks, I rushed over and. . . ." she faltered, eyes blinking rapidly. Her professional mask slipped, showing her human side as her grip tightened on her microphone. "I think," she rasped out, "I think that the scene speaks for itself."

A brief nod and the camera panned away from her, focusing to the back. The bright spotlight affixed on the camera brightened the previously fuzzy scene with the fluorescent glare of artificial lighting.

As one, they gasped.

None moved or spoke as the camera panned around the scene slowly, lingering over each still body, over congealing pools of blood, over the jagged words that were screaming in 10-feet high proclamations of 'Not the Chosen One!'.

It was Ryo who finally broke the stillness.

"All Saints Church. . ." he said faintly. "Oh my god, Dee!"

                                                                            ************

**                                                                           to be continued**

                                                                            ************

_A/N: Well? Hmm? Am I forgiven? Do you people still love me? You do, don't you? *whimpers* Oh, yes, if you'd like email updates for this story, please leave your email address in your reviews, ne?_


	13. Chapter 12:Forgive me Father, for I have...

**_A/N: __I've updated! Please, stop the voodoo, curses and hexes! I've updated!_**

**_Warning: __We've reaching climax folks._**

**_Review replies:_**

****

**_Cole's lover, Natascha, XZanayu, Duette, Jexia, Ashura Akuma, Shuichi-san, C-chan, K.Firefly, Crystal Child, Ians Koibito, Sissy & Kody (+gang), Kizuna, E-san, Ravensilver, Starfishsama, Xenocide, Konnie chan. DK-Adeena, Missa6, Sumimasen, McLachlan, Quatorze, Megan T., lady malynn, blissfully ignorant, Elizabeth linares, LN Tora, Silent Screaming, depression, Alanie, Vrenda-san, Nezumi, Eria, Lina the Outlawed Bomber,dragonflower and PurpleVix: ___**

_Whew! I finally got all of you! My own fault for not being able to acknowledge you guys before this. First of, thanks to all new reviewers! Your praises are like. . .gosh, speechless! Thank you! ^o^ And to those who stayed faithful to me, damn, you guys are precious. Love you all loads!_

_Behold! The new chappie!_

                                                                         *****************

**                                                                              Chapter 12**

**                                                         Forgive me Father, for I have sinned**

                                                                         *****************

There were times when it pays to be a cop. This was one of them. Flipping on his siren, the red light flashing intermittently, Ryo used every trick in the book to push his way through New York traffic. Not a few cabs had to jump out of his way when he threatened to plow right into them when they proved to be too slow to react. Pedestrians also had the scare of their life when he stopped the car a few bare inches from the entrance of his apartment building.

Joe, the doorman, gave him a look of incredulous shock as he leapt out of the car. The engine left idle and the siren still blaring, Ryo took the steps as fast as he could, not daring to waste time with the elevator. Gasping harshly as he fought to catch his breath, Ryo cleared the four floors under a minute and pounded desperately on the door to his apartment. He called out for Bikky as fear made his voice hoarse.

He didn't have long to wait. The door swung open, nearly slamming into the frame under the force of his pounding.

"Ryo!" Bikky's eyes shone with relief. "Dee, he's-"

He barely had time to finish before Ryo was already inside and had immediately vaulted over the couch. His eyes had made out a huddled form in a dark corner of the room. He skidded to a stop before Dee but caution made him quell the instinctive urge to pull Dee into a comforting hug.

Dee had pressed back into the corner as deep as he could. Hands clasped around raised knees, he had buried his face into them, black hair flying this was and that as he shook his head over and over. A muffled muttering could barely be heard.

"No no no no. . .tried. . .not my fault. . .no . .no. ."

Ryo crouched down, hesitant and unsure whether he should touch Dee. 

"Dee?" He tried instead. "Dee? Are you okay?"

His head snapped up but before Ryo could wilt with relief, Dee was grabbing his arms. His face was blanched white, the eyes red-rimmed but dry.

"I tried to save them! I did! It's not my fault!"

"What are you talking about Dee?" Ryo asked calmly. "Dee?"

But Dee had retreated back into his corner. Hands pressed against his head, he rocked back and forth in agitation, still muttering. Ryo stared at him, lost for words. Bikky came to stand behind him then and offered an explanation.

"We were just sitting around, watching tv," he explained tersely. "Dee was being quiet, not saying much. Cal was just channel surfing when we saw the news. I tried to turn it off but Dee stopped us. And then. . ." he gestured weakly.

Ryo nodded, the only sign he showed that he heard. Gently, as though approaching a wild, cornered animal, he laid a tentative hand on Dee'd shaking shoulder. "Dee," he said softly. "Dee? Can you hear me?"

The shoulder underneath his hand tensed further, the muscles bunched and quivering beneath the cotton shirt. Slowly, bit by bit, the shivering lessened but if anything, Ryo wasn't reassured. A deep pit of icy fear opened in his stomach, shooting cold shards that froze his blood. His instincts were screaming at him. Screaming that it wasn't over yet. Dee lifted his head, face so pale that he could make out the network of veins that trace a stark web underneath the skin. The bags under his eyes grew pronounced. The handsome man was a ghostly shadow of himself. The grey eyes did not see his partner that waited in quaking fear mixed anticipation. He saw something else.

Desperate hands shot out to grasp his arms in a painful vice as those grey eyes burned with icy fire that begged for understanding and forgiveness.

"I tried," the voice was raspy, hoarse with regret, despair and anger. All overlaid with shame that engulfed everything else. "He said that if I drink it, he'd let them go. But I have to drink every last drop. Sister Janice's and Kerry's. You understand why I couldn't drink it, right?"

Ryo felt his mouth move almost mechanically as he asked Dee in a voice unlike his own. It was detached, emotionless. A part of him was locked in a corner of his mind and it was screaming that it didn't want to hear. But he had to. "Drink what Dee?"

"Their blood."

Ryo wanted to close his eyes. He wanted to shut out the image of the broken man that was his lover. He wanted to erase the memory of seeing those beautiful gray eyes wide with pain and remembrance. But he couldn't.

"It was too salty. Too bitter. I couldn't drink it. Every time I did, I threw up. But I tried my best. You know that right? You saw? I tried. I really did."

And he knew that Dee saw him not as Ryo, as his lover. He was Dee's God. He had to listen to his confession and forgive his sin.

"I understand," he said dully.

Dee nodded his head wildly. "Yes! Yes, you have to understand! I couldn't drink their blood and I couldn't drink Jamie's or Tommy's or the others. I keep throwing up. I _tried!_"

"Yes, yes you did." Ryo nodded slowly. "Of course you did."

Please make him stop. Call him a selfish bastard but he can not bear to listen to this. Please make him stop.

". . .and they made me watch. They said I have to watch because I have to see the truth. How ugly humans really are but Jenny was screaming so loudly and she said that it hurts and I couldn't watch and they took her to the altar and. . ."

He is God. He must listen to this confession. He must forgive this wretched soul's sin. He must listen.

". . . .Courtney was praying. Praying to God but he said that God wasn't listening. But you're listening now, aren't you? And then he said that they have to stop screaming. That I have to stop crying. But I couldn't stop. And Jake kept on screaming when they broke his legs and I was crying and crying and. . ."

He must listen. He must listen.

". . . .it hurt. It was so painful. . . .but if they did it to Jamie and Courtney and Lisa and the others. . . .then I have to feel it as well right? Because it's my fault that I couldn't protect them. It's my fault. But I tried. It hurt so bad. You understand right?"

It might have been minutes. It could have been hours. All Ryo knew was that Dee could not stop telling him everything. Everything that had happened that night when he was nine. When he was nine and the world proved to be a scary place where God didn't listen and faith could not save you. But this was what he wanted, right? He wanted Dee to open up. To tell him what happened. Because no one could carry this kind of burden alone and stay sane. But Ryo feared that he was not up to carry that burden. It was too much.

"It's alright," he whispered and hugged the broken child close, hand stroking the black hair in comfort as Dee could only repeat again and again that surely he understood? That he tried? "I understand. Shh. . .it's okay." He rocked Dee back and forth slowly. "It's okay." He wanted to close his eyes but he couldn't. The confession was given, the forgiveness granted. And now _he _carried the weight of that sin as well. His shoulders felt bowed down under the weight.

""Mr. Maclean?" a soft voice intruded and a gentle hand squeezed his shoulder. He looked up to see Dr. Jeremiah Gooding looking down with a troubled frown. The brown eyes were warm with understanding and sympathy. "Bikky called me over. He thought you might need some help. May I?"

He nodded woodenly and pulled back enough to allow Dr. Gooding some access to Dee. Dee whimpered at the loss of contact until he shushed him gently. He watched as a syringe was filled, skin swabbed gently with alcohol and the clear liquid drained dry. Dee didn't even flinch when the needle jabbed in. When Dr. Gooding was finished, he gathered Dee back in his arms and they sat there on the floor. Just rocking back and forth. A few moments later, Dee was a dead weight in his arms.

Between Bikky and Dr. Gooding, they managed to get Dee settled on the couch, an afghan thrown over him. Ryo stayed slumped on the floor and staring down at his empty hands. He imagined that he could see them stained with blood.

"Ryo?" a child's voice that tried very hard to be grown up and not scared because the other grown ups _were scared and didn't know what to do. "Ryo, do you want anything? Tea? You wanna go to sleep?"_

Ryo managed a facsimile of a smile for Bikky and shook his head. "I have to call the Commissioner. Let him know about this. Can you and Dr. Gooding stay with Dee? I have to go back to the precinct."

Bikky nodded, his face suddenly as weary as a man four times his age. "Yeah, I can do that. You'll catch those bastards right? Make them pay for what they did to. . . .to Dee?" A catch in the young treble and sun-gold hair fell forwards to cover rapidly blinking eyes.

"We'll catch them. We'll make them pay."

With some final instructions to Bikky and Dr. Gooding should Dee wake up, he left the apartment and got in his still running car. Joe the doorman called out something but he ignored the old man. Pulling back from the pavement and into the traffic, he was unaware of the still shrieking siren and the flashing red light. He didn't hear the furious honking and swearing as he cut off three cars and ran 2 red lights. All he saw was wide gray eyes and a mouth chanting, begging for forgiveness which he was powerless to give.

It was a miracle that he managed to get to the precinct in one piece. He stumbled up the stairs to the detectives' offices, oblivious to the looks thrown by the uniformed cops manning the front desk. The office upstairs fell to a sudden hush as he entered, the Commissioner and his colleagues still crowded around the tv which had yet to cease its grisly coverage. The mayor was being interviewed.

"Maclean?" The Commissioner's baritone was sharp with worry and apprehension. The other detectives silently made way for him as Ryo swayed to a stop. It was the Commissioner's turn to gently grasp him and ask, "Are you okay?"

_Are you okay _Dee___?_

_He made me drink their blood._

_But I couldn't._

_It was too salty. Too bitter. I threw up._

_You understand right? You understand._

_I understand._

Ryo fixed unseeing eyes on his superior, still unaware of the concerned looks he was given, of the worry they felt at his pallor and shaking limbs.

"I'm going to throw up," he croaked suddenly and ran to the bathroom. Hunched over the toilet bowl, he indeed threw up. He vomited and cried and vomited again and cried again until nothing was left. Even when there was nothing he tried to vomit again. He was sure he could still taste the coppery tang of blood in his mouth.

"Oh, god," he cried. He grasped the cool porcelain in trembling hands. "Oh god oh god oh god."

"Come on Ryo. It'll be okay. It'll be alright."

Strong hands lifted him from his hunched misery. Someone kind gave him a cold towel and he buried his face in it. Gently, he was shepherded out of the bathroom and into a dim room that smelled faintly of leather and cigarettes. Rose's office. They waited in silence until he finally lifted his face up, eyes red rimmed.

He found only Rose and Ted in the office with him and he was grateful for that. Ted passed him a mug of strong tea by the smell of it and he smiled his thanks shakily. He wrapped ice cold fingers around the hot mug and tried to drown out the taste of blood and ignore the feel of sticky liquid on his hands.

"Can you tell me what happened, Ryo?" Rose was very gentle.

He stared at them for a full minute. Could he tell them what Dee told him? He didn't feel strong enough to carry the burden. God help him but he was a coward. He could not do this alone.

So he told them.

                                              ***********************************

It took over an hour before they got the whole story and calmed Ryo down again. By the time they did, Rose himself was feeling more than a bit shaken. He understood now why Ryo was so upset. Even hearing the story secondhand nearly had him throwing up as well. Ted wasn't faring any better. His face was pale with shock and more than once he cupped his mouth close with a shaking hand, throat swallowing convulsively.

With an exchanged look, Ted and Rose both agreed that Ryo could not be asked to handle anymore for today. The man had reached his limit this time and Rose could not blame him. They had to get started immediately. There was a possibility that Dee could identify his attackers and it would provide a valuable lead. They had practically none so far, even with the Revelation drug clue.

As Ted distracted Ryo with quiet murmurs of comfort, Rose picked up his phone and dialed Ryo and Dee's home number. Ryo had told them that Dee had been sedated with the help of a doctor in their apartment building who had treated Dee's fever before. Bikky was staying with them as well. The number well memorized, Rose rubbed a hand wearily across his forehead as he waited for his call to be answered. Some days, like this day, he wondered how he managed to stay sane in this business.

Ring ring.

Ring ring.

Ring ring.

Rose frowned. The phone had been ringing for a long time. Sure enough, it finally ended with the answering machine and he stared at his phone in consternation.

"Maclean," he said slowly. "Did you tell this Dr. Gooding to bring Dee to the hospital?"

Ryo started, body suddenly tense. "No," he said hoarsely and coughed. He tried again. "No, I didn't.  I told the both of them to stay at home and call me if anything happened."

"Did they?" Rose asked sharply.

Ryo shook his head. "No."

"Well," Rose said grimly. "Nobody picked up the phone."

Ryo's eyes widened. "Oh my god. Something's wrong." And he jumped out of his chair and raced out of the office. Ted and Rose ran after him, ignoring the startled cries of the other detectives. Ryo was already burning his tyres on the tarmac by the time Rose and Ted got into his car and the three rode in tense silence as once again, Ryo flipped on the light and siren. Careening dangerously through traffic, they were at Ryo's apartment building in record time. Again, Ryo parked on the pavement with Joe jumping back, cursing in surprise.

The three cops ignored him and following Ryo's lead, took the four flights of stairs up to his apartment.

The door was open.

Dread curdling in his stomach, Rose reached inside his jacket for his gun, Ted following suit but Ryo just burst into the apartment. Grimly, the two followed behind more slowly, guns held steady in their hands.

There was no one in the apartment. 

No Dee, no Bikky and no kindly Dr. Gooding. The afghan was crumpled in a sad heap on the couch. Rose and Ted circled the living room warily but all was quiet. Ryo stood staring down at the couch in numb silence. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand.

"Maclean," Rose asked softly, still eyeing his surroundings carefully. "What have you got there?"

Ryo turned to him, face even paler than before and handed him the note. Nodding to Ted to guard them, he dropped his gun and held the note carefully with the very tips of his fingers. He didn't want to contaminate potential evidence.

The note was short and simple.

_                                              I found him. My __Chosen_ One.____

                                                                         *******************

**                                                                               to be continued**

                                                                         *******************

_Yes, we are about to reach the main climax. Unfortunately, this means that the story will probably end in another 1 or 2 chapters. . . . . . . . damn, I hate ending a story. Never mind, maybe I'll do a waffy FAKE fic after this. . . .god knows I've done SO much angst in this one. . . ._

_PS: hey, would you guys kill me if I turn this into a deathfic??? Tell me what you think. The ending is still up in the air. I got several scenarios (and the death could be **anyone's) so tell me what you think you'd prefer. Jaa!**_

_PPS: Believe me when I say, **I am not the type of author who abandons a fic halfway. I will finish this! Ganbatte!**_


	14. Chapter 14

Dear readers,

To those still sticking with me/this story, thank you so much. While this is not an update regretfully, I have put this story up for auction for the Help_Japan effort at (please remove spaces): community . livejournal . com / help_japan / ?thread=606626#t606626

I have been wanting to finish this but lacking proper motivation so I thought this was an opportune time. The successful bidder for this story, if any, will get this fic revamped and finished, hallelujah! Good news is that I'm pretty sure I've improved in my writing since I last wrote this! So if you think this is worth the effort and cause, please bid!

FYI: I am also offering to write for the following fandoms: Harry Potter, TVXQ/DBSK (Korean boyband) and Yami no Matsuei. Unfortunately for FAKE, I'm only able to offer to re-write "Chosen One".

Best regards,  
Me


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